The Nerd (In Progress)

-2-

Please no. My hand goes up to the cheek I earlier wiped. It slipped my mind to not touch the concealer. The crowd around us squints their eyes to get a better view of my face. Mind your
business.

She tips her head back and lets out a shrill laugh. I start feeling suffocated and breathe faster at an attempt to fill the empty feeling in my chest. The people around her point at me and exchange short laughs.

My eyes dart around the people staring at me in a panic. Help. Help. Help. Anyone?

They land on Jisung. His eyes were already on me - well - everybody's eyes are on me.

I can't read the expression on his face. He looks unaffected, like he doesn't care. My eyes land on a girl who has never been mean to me and I beg her for help with my eyes. She shakes her
head, eyes wide.

"Hey big girl, don't you know how to wash your face? You already look freak enough without acne you're starting to scare people!"

It's just one pimple though. Tears start to sting the back of my eyes.

"Why do you find joy in the pain of others?", I mumbled too quiet for her to hear.

I stare down at my toes wishing for them to help me.

"Excuse me?"

"Leave me alone."

"Don't you want company on your birthday? I wouldn't want you to be all alone. Oh, wait, you're already used to that."

"Well if you won't leave..."

I pack up my stuff as fast as I can wanting to leave and never come back. Tears start to trail out of the corners of my eyes. I let my hair hang over my face to hide my hideous self.

"Leaving so soon?"

I rush away from her as fast as I can. A little too fast.

"Ugh!"

My face meets the hard, dirty cafeteria floor. Laughter roars from the crowd behind me. I'm soaked in tears. The pain from bashing my head and knees full force in the floor is nothing
compared to what I feel in my heart. I need to get out of here.

When I find the bathroom, it appears to be empty. I shut the door and cry at myself in the mirror.

All my emotions explode. I splash water on my face and slap myself.

"Why me?"

Slap.

"What have I done?"

Slap.

"Just let me go.", I barely whisper, defeated.

My stinging cheek feels good. I laugh. I can't stop laughing at myself. At when I fell. My zit. The eyes of the crowd mocking me. Jisung standing and watching me.

I hear the door creak open and lean against the wall and sink down to put my face in my knees out of fear.

"Please just leave me be...", I whisper.

"Go go go go..."

I look up eyes still closed, "If you wanna laugh here I am."

When I open them I meet Jisung's worried face crouched down at my level. It's too funny. I burst out into another fit of laughter. He holds my hands and makes me look at him.

"Hey. I want you to listen to me and breathe. I got you."

"hAhAahAH ou gOt mEe? WHY are you IN HERE?? Aren't you embArrassed to be with me."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you're not embarrassing."

That's a damn lie.

"Let's be real now, tell me the truth. Why are you in here? AND in the womens bathroom?"

"This is the mens bathroom, and I'm in here because I needed to pee."

Oh.

"Then I'll leave so you can pee."

I steady myself on the wall to slowly stand up and begin to stumble out of the bathroom. Jisung stops me with his hands on my shoulders.

"What are you-"

He's wrapping something around my waist. His- hoodie?

"Jisung?"

"Yes?"

I face him.

"What is this?"

"You had some dirt on your pants. Probably from the cafeteria."

The cafeteria. Tears come down again.

"Hey. It's ok."

He wraps his arms around me. I push him off. Is this some kind of sick joke?

"Why are you being nice to me?"

"Let me take you to the nurse."

"Why are you being nice to me?", I repeat louder.

"Can you please just let me take you."

I'll give up for now. What is he DOING?

--------------------------------

"Ms. Jong, you really need to start being more careful."

Turns out I had a busted knee.

"Yes nurse. Sorry"

"We'll be going now."

Jisung grabs my hand and leads me out. When we pass the door I yank my hand out of his.

"Are you ready to tell me why you're being nice to me? Why you're not teasing? Why you're taking me to the nurse?"

He seems to consider my questions.
What he says next makes my heart stop.

"I actually wanted to ask you out."