"Hi."
"What are you doing?"
"Just enjoying the breeze."
She narrowed her eyes, and then turned her face away.
We were silent for a moment. I spent my time looking at her for a while. There is a perfume with a citrus scent tickling my nose. Looks like she used perfume today. Did she just visit somewhere? Or play with her friends? She never used that perfume at school or when we ate together.
Shiina spent her time just staring at the moon in the distance. I don't know what she was thinking. However, it seems we both have the same thoughts to ponder.
"You want pizza?"
Unable to stand this silence, I decided to ask.
"Pizza?"
"Yes, my friend ordered it. Actually, it's a portion for 6 people and there's still some. You want some?"
Instead of leaving it in the fridge overnight, it would be great to have a friend to share.
I know she must have been cooking for dinner. However, at least a few late-night snacks would be fine. There are several problems, for example, she is a type of person who maintains a regular and healthy diet. Sure, pizza isn't a healthy food to be consumed continuously. But, at least there are times when you enjoy yourself.
"No thanks. I'm already full."
I've clouded it. This is the answer I've been waiting for.
Concentrating, I forced contractions the nerves and the muscles in my face. I've been practicing this for months, and will proudly show it here.
"You... what's with that expression?"
Yes, it worked!
"No, it's just... I have to finish all this pizza alone. I thought of sharing it with you."
You did it, awesome me.
"I see... well, I'll eat some."
OK, now-
"I can't stand that expression of yours, it really doesn't suit you."
I don't know why my months of practice just hit a dead end. This is not the result I expected. She should feel sorry for me, not mock me.
"Fuuun~ you look sullen."
"Is that true? Does my face show that?"
"No, your face is boring as usual."
It's not my fault I'm like this.
"Then, how in the world you know the expression I have right now?"
"Just guessing. I'm used to imagining it in my head while I'm with you. Since you rarely show an expression, so I imagined it myself."
"That sounds creepy."
However. I really wish I could express myself more when interacting with other people. But pushing yourself too hard isn't good either. I just need to get used to it, and practice more in the mirror.
The closer I got to that expectation, the weirder it felt to me. It was as if, I was being swallowed up by a new personality that I had created myself. But it is not possible. Hey, it's a lot better to be yourself in the end.
"Though, Ayanokouji-kun. I'm sure you'd be much more attractive if you smiled more often."
"Like this?" I tried to smile, but I guess it didn't work. My cheeks itch.
"No just forget it."
Immediate refusal. I'm sure it looks weird to her.
"Is it that bad huh?" I ask
Entry 9
Start from the beginning
