Better as Bones

purple light - X

Nyx

Several more humans visited me. Some became common. One, a woman near my own year. Her long hair was slick behind her back, darker than the sticky lifeblood itself. Her eyes stayed still as she asked me her questions. Never once did she falter in her eyes, they stayed dry. She had became a nuisance.

She sat in front of me one evening. Purple light seeped under the door of the bar. Voices echoed inside of my room. Her blue eyes stayed still as they always had.

She was the best for money. She had always given me more. More money for more visions. I had paid half of my due to Malo.

"What is it?" I snapped. The glass was cool to my lips. I exhaled against the heaviness. Her eyes met mine. She was the only one who could. A begrudging grin played on my lips.

"You're so mean to me," She played. I dipped deeper in my chair as she leaned forward, her cool pale hands brushing my own. Her veins were vibrant sapphire. "I came for company and you push me away."

"I came here to work and to drink," I grumbled. She stood, swiping the glass out of my hand. I jutted towards her, my face in hers as she sipped, eyes stitched to me.

"I can make you work then," She murmured to my mouth. There it was again, that warmth inside of me. I exhaled. She raised her eyebrows, her eyes tracing down my body.

In my chest, in my mind, hollow. It was all void. I worked to pay and I paid to drink. The sparking I once felt in my chest as I swallowed the liquid turned as dull as watching others cry at my words. Boring. Hollow.

I needed something new. I needed that spark back. Who cared how I acquired it?

I needed something just like that first time. That woman in my alley-home clinging to me, sobbing. That is what fun was.

"Alright," I murmured, my hand brushing her back. She breathed steadily against my touch. Her body leaned against the table. It couldn't hurt more than it already did.

And I was right. Oh, that feeling. Oh, the hum in my brain. The muddle of my mind making me forget. How blind I was truly to what awaited me when I sought. It felt as burning water on my flesh, it felt as nothing had felt before.

She visited me many more times. Other's did as well. For those who asked for me I obliged. They were so lucky to have me. They were so lucky to be graced by my body. I would be in their mind's until their last breath.

I exhaled as Malo stood in the doorway. He had told me to sleep in the room. Not like I need his help. I had everything under control.

Malo snickered as I fumbled with a candlestick. Bleary eyes. It was the symptoms of a night of long indulgence. I never told Malo I continued to limit his supply. He came near as his thin fingers swiped the candle from me. A scoff brushed my lips as he grinned at me. Light twisted around his fingers as he pressed it closer to the wick. It set ablaze.

Malo sat the candle down on the table. Flesh slicked my arms as I crossed them. My chair clicked back on the ground. He moved forward again.

"I know what happened last night, Goldy," Malo said.

"Come on, Nyx!" Cassius's voice squeaked. My paws pounded the earth as I chased him. He glanced back, a tooth grin crossing his muzzle. His darkened brown fur was matted in places. Ignoring Mother's requests.

Green-clad trees towered above us. Ferns brushed my spine. Heat of the summer seeped into my bones. Cassius yelped laughter as he tumbled on his own paws. I skidded to a stop beside him.

"You best clean yourself before we return," I mumbled. Cassius rubbed his ear. He glanced up, his eyes sparkling kin to the velvet leaves. Sunlight streaked down onto his face. He squinted against it. I leaned down, lapping at the very crown of his head. He jolted back. I never showed him affection.

"Nyx," He said. I flicked my tail. Striding past, I held my head high.

"Fine! If you reject your sibling's affection then be that! I can just go find another family!" Cassius bounded to me. He stopped me with a nudge. I peeled my eyes open to him.

"Don't be silly. You couldn't find another Mother or another me." I huffed. Cassius snorted a laugh.

"I could too!" I pressed. Cassius shook his head as he led me along the path, back to Maylea.

"Well who would look after you then? In another family? Nobody will love you more than Mother and I." I lowered my head in shame. Beneath my fur I felt my flesh burn. It was foolish of me. Mother gave up so much to allow me peace and happiness.

"Forgive me, Brother," I mumbled. Cassius nudged my shoulder again. We walked along the path. Twigs snapped in the distance.

"So?" Malo pressed. I blinked. Everything was hazed over then. Malo leaned in again, across the filthy table.

"Excuse me?" I mumbled. The backside of my hand rubbed against my eyes. They stung. "I—"

"The drinks?" Malo raised his eyebrows. I huffed. I didn't quite recall that memory of Cassius and I. "Don't be dense and believe I can't tell intoxication on you."

"I'm working," I replied. Malo made a noise in the back of his throat. The front of the building chimed, the sound of a customer. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Better check that, sweety," I drew, pouting out my bottom lip. Malo growled, snapping around. He glared at me.

"Shut your pretty little mouth, Gold." He squinted at me, a grin playing on his lips as he turned. His hand flew out, a shout greeting the person at the stairs. Malo spun, walking backwards. "I'm cutting you off." He pointed a finger at me.

"I can do without your drinks. I have other means," I replied. Malo rolled his eyes as I tossed a look at him. I rose, shutting the door tight.

"Fuck," I seethed. What was my mind doing? Throwing me visions of the past? Of my Brother?

I whirled. I ripped open the door. A woman stood there. She was layered in white, her dark hair curly at her back. Her widened eyes met mine. I growled as she lowered her hand from a knock.

"You are the seer." Her voice echoed in my ears like music in silence. Something in her voice plucked at my own strings. Her skin was as golden as my eyes, her own a murky gray. I sneered as she stepped inside. Her hands swept beneath her skirt as she sat at the chair opposing mine. Wide eyes, she gazed around.

"What is it you want?" I hissed, sliding back to my chair. She straightened as I watched her. Her skin glittered, slicked with nerves and candle flame.

"I seek your knowledge. How is it that you became so great? So known?" A grin twisted on my lips. Fingertips brushed my face. I scoffed a laugh. Usually no one pays attention to me. I had to lie about them so they could finally turn their gaze to my own.

"Suffer," I told her. Her gray eyes widened. Fingers clenched into her skirts. "Suffering."

"Like what?" She pressed. Her body leaned forward ever just. I chuckled a grin.

"I don't have to explain myself to some Gray-Eyed," I snapped. She dipped her head. Her body didn't budge from the seat. "What is it you want? Truly?"

"I believe we are similar," She whispered. The candlelight flickered over her face. It squirmed and panicked in the hushed breathing of our lungs. "I understand what you feel. The-the feeling here–" Fingers brushed her collarbone. "It's not normal. I know."

"I believe you." The chair scraped against the floor. I sat back as her hands opened wide. She was standing before me now. Her eyebrows drew in and her mouth gaped in a smile. How foolish I thought she looked.

Not one word of hers I fell prey to. She might have felt something akin to mine, but never would she know the hollow in my bones. The nothingness in my chest. How the only way I feel is by indulging too much. But drowning my body full of something.

I could tell her this. Or I could lie. I could use her as she is hoping. I can feel more muddling in my mind.