The Chaos Within: The Love that Remains

20.

"Jasp. This is it. This is my ticket to finding out what happened to him, and not only him, but I will also be able to discover who's behind the murders of the girls." I squeal, excitement bubbling out of me. Looking up, my eyes fall squarely on a picture of Alexander and I an elderly couple took one afternoon in the park before he went missing. I had chosen to take down every wedding photo that we had and instead placed them in our bedroom where I don't allow anyone but Colton to enter.

Alexander is looking at me with pure admiration in the photo, smiling like he is perfectly content with his life. I will do anything to find you, I'll never forget about you. My heart whispers as I stare longingly at the photos.

"Things will get better" Jasper says softly, placing a hand over mine comfortingly.

"It will only get better when I find him." I say stubbornly. I know he, along with almost everyone expects me to grieve and deal with the pain but I refuse. I will not grieve because then I resign that I don't think he's alive anymore. Then I am saying that I believe he won't be found and I refuse to believe that. I know that he's still alive somewhere, I just need to start finding clues.

I am broken out of my train of thoughts when a loud knock sounds against my front door. I look over to Jasper, seeing he's intently watching the crime investigation on the television. I get up grudgingly, tired from my lack of sleep.

"Hi sweetie. How are you holding up?" Alexander's mother greet warmly as I open the door. She pulls me into a tight embrace, providing the motherly comfort that I so desperately need. I had decided to tell my parents about me being married, hoping it would explain to them the entire situation, but much to my dismay it only made it worse.

My mother and father haven't spoken to me since I sat them down and explained everything to them. In fact, they actually told me they don't want to see me right now. I guess, I understand that they're mad that I didn't tell them I got married, but a part of me is also furious and heartbroken that my own parents refuse to support me in the most difficult time I have ever experienced. I don't know how to cope with losing someone so dear to me, especially under this circumstances and I need my mother most of all right now.

"Not that well... but I've been coping." I admit, tears instantly filling my eyes. I notice her sniffling as well, indicating that I am not the only one crying right now. When she pulls away, Alexander's father comfortingly rubs circles on his wife's back. I look at them and realise that I am lucky to have such wonderful in laws. They haven't known me very long and yet, they've been checking in on me almost daily to see if I'm okay. I wonder if Alexander's father feels bad about how he treated him. Does he wish he could rewind time to make it up to him?

"We brought you some of Zan's stuff." His brother interjects kindly. I quickly step back, allowing for them to walk into the house. Jesse, Zander's brother, carries a box directly towards my room.

"Go with Jesse, you can sort through what you want then we'll take whatever's left back home with us." His mother says softly, squeezing my hand. I nod at her and follow behind Jesse hesitantly. I'm afraid that I will break down if I see Zander's belongings while at the same time I am dying to have something of his.

"Although the police searched his room for any clues, they seemed to have overlooked some of his things. They took only what they deemed important." Jesse says, placing the box on my bed. When I sit down on the bed, I notice Jesse standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed, an unsure look on his face.

"Come sit." I pat the spot next to me on the bed. It will help having someone here who knows the entire situation and not bits and pieces. Besides, he's my brother too now. He walks over reluctantly, sitting down carefully, as if he's doing something wrong by being in the room with me.