Adoration

xiv

"Susan," a cheery voice greeted.

Looking up, she smiled widely as she saw Peter leant against the doorway, a boyish grin on his face that made the twenty-two-year-old appear younger than he was.

"Peter." Susan smiled as she pulled her brother into a hug, which he gladly returned.

"How are you? We haven't seen you in four years." He said, shoving her playfully.

She shrugged, her smile faltering slightly. "I've been travelling is all, you know I've always wanted to."

"Uncle Diggory," Lucy yelled up the stairs. "Susan's here."

The greying man came down the stairs, a wide welcoming smile on his face as he greeted Susan, pulling her into an embrace. The man, although old, still moved as though he was a teenage boy, and his muscles and joints had not been impacted by old age

"Thank you for letting me stay for Christmas, Diggory." She spoke politely as they removed themselves from the embrace.

"Oh nonsense. You're welcome anytime, you know that, Susan."

* * *

Diggory was working late, as he did most nights.

At around midnight, he paused when he heard footsteps outside his office door, only continuing when they faded down the hallway.

He paused again.

Peter had lived with him for five years now and he had never before wandered the manor this late at night. Shoving it off as the siblings just wanting to spend some time together, he went back to his work. Only a minute later, he paused again as he heard a door open down the hallway.

He stood and made his way out of his office, attempting to remain quiet. He stopped outside the open door before slowly stepping inside, being careful not to make any noise. An empathetic expression overcame his face when his eyes focussed on the middle of the room.

On the empty wardrobe.

And Susan, who sat inside, hitting her palms desperately against the unyielding wood.

He watched as she tired herself out and her hands grew tired. They slid down the wood, slightly bruised and most definitely sore.

Diggory knew this sight. He had witnessed it too many times in the past. With himself, when he was first brought back from Narnia. 

With Polly, when she begged her best friend to find a way to send them back to the magical land.

With Peter, when he would sit in front of the wardrobe when he first arrived as Diggory's apprentice.

With Lucy, when she would forgo studying to tell him about their times in Narnia, a shine to her eye.

Even with Edmund, when he visited the first Christmas after the war and spent the majority of his time questioning Diggory about other ways they could get into Narnia.

And now with Susan.

He spoke her name softly, in attempt not to startle her. She didn't jump or flinch, but simply leant her head against the inside of the wardrobe with a sigh.

Susan hated it. She couldn't live in this world; she knew she should be there. With him. Where she was happiest.

"Why can't I reach it?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"Reach what? Narnia, or happiness?" he questioned wisely.

She turned, leaning her back against the wardrobe. "They're the same thing," she spoke.

He offered her a sad smile. "Trust me, I know they are."

"I want to go back." Susan sniffled, wiping her eyes. She knew she was being ridiculous. It had been seven years, for goodness sake. She should have been over it all by now: Narnia, him, everything.

Diggory felt his eyes gloss over as he observed the girl in front of him. "Don't we all."

Susan looked at him and questioned him, ignoring his last statement. "Why won't the wardrobe let me back into Narnia?"

He remained silent for a moment before turning to leave the room, not intending to give an answer as he himself didn't know. Once he reached the door, he turned once more, looking at her.

"Someone told me a long time ago that things don't happen the same way twice."