You can trust now, Peter darling

36

Session 1

"What's your favorite thing to do, Peter?" Ayo asked the boy as they sat down on some comfortable benches, just in front of the lake.

Peter blinked. That was not a question he was expecting to be asked. Didn't they ask things like 'how are you feeling in this moment?' And 'what makes you worry the most?' in therapy?

"Um...I like to watch movies with Tony? I like the old ones, like Aliens and uh- Empire Strikes Back." Peter said, eyes glued to his feet.

"That sounds nice. Anything else?"

Peter looked up at the lake, squeezed his eyes shut and looked back at his lap. He did that quite often.

"I like to draw."

"You draw? That's interesting. I've always wanted to learn how to draw, but I'm no good." Ayo said with a smile. Peter knew he was supposed to laugh, but he couldn't.

"What about swimming? Maybe you could go in the lake one day." She said and gestured to it. Peter didn't look at it again.

"I don't swim." Peter said, a little more blunt than intended.

Be polite

He didn't want to disobey Tony, so he shifted in his seat and tried to mend what he said.

"I-I don't like swimming. The water...it's...I just don't like it." He said with a cough and finally looked up at Ayo, who was nodding her head slowly in thought. She was already looking at him, and probably had been the whole time. It made Peter's face heat up in shame when he realized how rude he was being. After all, she was just trying to help.

"Why don't you like the water, Peter?" She asked. She told herself to ask the personal questions once Peter seemed to actually be engaged in the conversation, which he seemed to be now.

Peter thought about the answer to the question. He knew he couldn't avoid it because this was therapy. He couldn't just shrug it off and say 'it's just not my thing' because that's not what he's there to do.

"It's...it's a fear of mine, cuz they...they put me in water a lot...y'know...when I was with HYDRA." Peter answered reluctantly, almost choking on the words.

"Well, that seems like a pretty rational reason." Ayo said with a nod. "Would you like to know what my hobbies are, Peter?"

Session 2

The first session of therapy was over. It was much more different than Peter thought it would be. They basically just sat there and got to know each other, there was only one or two personal questions.

The next therapy session a day later was a bit more progressive.

"Do you ever think about suicide, Peter?"

Peter thought about the question for a few moments. "Not really. I mean...I have. But I don't think much about it anymore."

"You have?"

"Yes. In captivity. When they were doing experiments on me...or torturing me, I would think to myself. Like...what if I just stayed under water longer than they wanted me to? Or, what if I just grab the taser or the knife from them and do it myself? I wanted to escape, and I knew I wasn't going to. So I opted for another plan. I mean, suicide is a form of escape after all."

Ayo listened carefully to Peter's words.

"And you haven't thought about it since then?"

Peter swallowed.

"Um...well there was a moment after Richard's return. Well...a few days after I almost killed him." Peter's sentence broke off as the memories came back to him and he coughed the roughness of his voice away.  He tried not to cry before continuing. "Everything just...everything felt so real all of a sudden. Y'know? Like my life...I came to a realization in that moment that...I'm not normal. My life isn't normal. Nothing about me is normal. And I wanted it to end."