Chapter 08
"Nervous?" tanong ni Pablo nang makarating kami sa hotel. Nandito iyong pamilya ko pati iyong member ng entourage. Hindi naman ako kasama sa entourage ni Therese but since technically we're siblings, kailangan nandito ako for the family photo.
Umiling ako habang tinitignan ko iyong mukha ko sa may salamin.
"You look great," sabi niya.
"Thanks," I replied with a small smile habang nakatingin pa rin sa itsura ko. I was not normally this conscious sa itsura ko. I mean, yes, of course, I needed to look presentable dahil sa trabaho ko, but hindi ganito. Kahit ayoko, naha-heighten iyong anxiety ko dahil sigurado ako na may side comments iyong mga Tita ko kapag nakita nila ako. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ang dami nilang comment sa buhay ko—as if naman may ambag sila.
When I was done making sure that my makeup was on point and that every strand of hair on my head was where they're meant to be, itinaas ko na iyong salamin.
"You'll see," sabi ko sa kanya nang mapansin ko na nakatingin siya sa akin.
"See what?"
"Why I'm acting like this."
"Acting like what?"
"A bit obsessed with appearance," sabi niya.
Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya. "You're not."
"Really?" I asked. "Because I just spent ten minutes staring at my reflection even though nagayos na ako kanina sa hotel room," I added. Gosh, the hotel room. The amount of self-control I had not to jump on him nung bino-blowdry niya iyong damit ko.
Sabi ko, strong, independent woman ako...
Sabi ko, I'd never let any man conquer me.
I mean, it still stands true pa rin naman. But perhaps the reason behind that is that I've been at the lowest of the low—at ayoko ng bumalik pa roon. I guess I just don't trust anyone enough to let go of the control. There's this thought kasi na kapag iba ang gagawa, what if they mess up? What if I go back to that lowest of low? Ayoko. I refuse. That's why I'd been independent for so long. I do my own shit; I buy what I want. I just can't depend on anybody.
But this guy?
Ewan ko...
Not saying that I'd give up control and let myself depend on him—but it's just that so far, he's showing me how dependable he could be. So, siguro hindi ako strong, independent woman in the strictest sense. Perhaps, I'm selectively-dependent. I would only depend on you once you prove yourself to me that I can depend on you.
Fuck.
Kung anu-ano na naman ang naisip ko just because he was staring at me!
"I don't think that," sabi niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa akin. He was staring at me so much so that he was starting to make me overthink again kaya naman ako na iyong kusang nagiwas ng tingin. I drew a deep breath.
"Let's go," I said instead as I unlocked the door and got out of his car.
It had been so long since I last went here. Tuwing pinapauwi ako, lahat talaga ng rason ay ibibigay ko sa kanila para lang hindi ako makapunta. Sometimes, when I truly was tired with work, I wouldn't even bother to open their messages. Sabi ko na lang kila Mama na kung gusto nila akong makita, they're free to see me sa Manila. It's not as if kailangan pa nilang sumakay ng barko para makita ako. So far, kapag birthday ni Papa ay nasa Manila sila. Papa likes me—he'd never tell me, but feel ko ako iyong paborito niya sa aming dalawa ni Therese. Tahimik lang talaga kaya wala siyang masabi sa mga matatabil ang dila na kamaganak namin.
BINABASA MO ANG
All For Show (COMPLETED)
ChickLit(Trope Series # 1) Cerise's younger sister is getting married and she's expected to attend. The logical thing to do was to attend (duh, it's her sister's wedding! It would be weird if she's not there) but how could she attend when her sister's gett...
