The Misfortunes of Lolita

25 | when lolita said goodbye

His dad was back, his mom was happy, and Cora was finally smiling and meaning it-and Frank still wanted more. Everything that had been wrong when he'd met Lolita was good now, everything that he hated about himself and his family was better. Lolita had come into his life and he didn't know how, but his life had gotten better. And now she was leaving.

He loved her. And she loved him.

Sometimes love isn't enough, Frank.

It is, he thought, as Lolita walked back with her diploma in her hands, and she looked at it like she couldn't believe it was real. He realized that for Lolita, graduating and leaving this place had always been the light at the end of the tunnel. She looked happy, for the first time in weeks. God honest happy-the kind that makes your heart full with light and bursts through your ribs. She was happy.

Sometimes love meant not our time. Sometimes love meant I'll wait for you. Sometimes love meant one day.

When Lolita laced her fingers through his, he kissed her forehead. Her fingers held onto the rolled up paper, her thumb tracing over the red ribbon tied around. For some reason, Frank kept waiting for his name being called, but it wasn't. It hit him hard, then-Akima and Lolita and even Talia were graduating, and he would be alone, walking down the same halls that he fell in love in.

Lolita's father hugged her after the ceremony, and Evelyn stood by their side, smiling. Lolita drew back and wrapped her arms around her too, and Martha put an arm around Frank.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and Frank felt young and weak and full.

"No," he said, shaking his head. Akima's family joined Lolita's, Tom and Akima's father fell into a lively discussion-they'd apparently been seated side by side during the ceremony. Frank saw Talia walk to Lolita, and watched her shoulders tense up and then ease again as she extended a hand to her, and Talia took it, smiling. She glanced at Frank and waved, and he cracked a smile.

Today-this felt like the big goodbye.

"You will be okay," Martha squeezed his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "Both of you."

Lolita walked to Frank, and before anything, Martha pulled her in for an embrace, kissing her forehead, and then left them.

Lolita held Frank's hand. "Come with me."

Frank followed her out of the hallway around the auditorium, and walked down the almost empty main hall. Lolita stopped in the middle of the hallway. Frank imagined one day-he imagined them visiting town and coming to Dale High, walking around this school and revisiting where they'd met. He imagined feeling only the good parts of the memories. He imagined them together.

"This is where I first noticed you looking at me," she said, and he looked at her. "You probably don't remember-"

"I remember," Frank wanted to laugh. God-he remembered. He would always remember.

She was forgettable. But he would remember her.

"It's hard to believe that I met you here," she turned to him, and the look in her eyes-it killed him. "So many-bad things happened here, and then there was you. Sometimes I felt like you were the only good thing. I always tried to push you away. I was stupid. I should've spent every day of my fucking life with you. I want to."

"Lolita," he said, everything feeling stifled and overwhelming. She was saying goodbye.

"I loved you," Lolita said. In the empty hall, her voice felt so soft and quiet and pure. "I love you."

Frank wanted to shout it again. I love you too, I love you too. Please don't leave.

"Ask me to stay," her eyes pooled with tears, and Frank leaned his forehead against hers, and his eyes filled up too, burning and boiling and tearing him apart. "Frank. Ask me to stay. Once. I'll do anything for you. Ask me to stay, just once."