Bad Times at Sunrise (La Fortuna Series #3)

Kabanata 50

"I know..." she croaked. Pinalis niya ang luhang lumandas sa kaniyang pisngi. "I read your conversation... Nagtanong 'yong jeweler kung sino ang masuwerteng babae. Sinabi mo sa kaniya ang pangalan ko."

"Then what's the problem? Did you not like the picture of the ring she sent me? We can easily change it. Just tell me. I'll give you anything you want."

Her gaze sharpened. "That's exactly the problem, Ico! Kaya mong ibigay sa akin lahat ng gusto ko, pero hindi ko 'yon kayang gawin sa 'yo."

"I'm not asking you to give me something you can't," I explained in a frustrated but firm tone.

Hell, Sunny could withdraw physical intimacy from me, and I would still be head over heels for her. I always thought sex was the pinnacle of romance. Sleeping with the person you like was supposed to reduce the attraction afterward. At least, that was the case with my former relationships.

But with her, it was different. I wanted to spend time with her, travel the world with her, achieve my goals with her. I wanted to do silly and wholesome things together. Fully clothed, sober, in daylight hours.

She shook her head. "This is just too much for me. Your love is overwhelming."

Huminga ako ng malalim bago nagsalita. "Then please tell me how you want to be loved because this is frustrating for me, too. I want you to be happy. I want us to be okay. But I can't fix anything when every time something goes wrong, your response is to leave or end the relationship."

"And what's your response?" she snapped. "To push me into a lifetime commitment kahit na hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin alam kung tama ba ang desisyon kong maging girlfriend mo?"

My heart dropped to my stomach. Agad na lumambot ang kaniyang mga mata nang makita ang ekspresyon ko.

What did she mean by that? That she didn't actually want to be my girlfriend? That she was forced into it?

"Are you not in love with me?" I asked absentmindedly.

"Ico... H-hindi naman sa hindi kita mahal. Sadyang masyado lang mabilis ang lahat."

My eyebrows furrowed. "We wasted five years already. Anong parte rito ang mabilis?"

"Ewan ko. Basta ang alam ko lang, nahihirapan na ako..."

Humikbi siya at saka iniwas ang tingin sa akin. Her shoulders were shaking because of her sobs. Nang ibalik niya ang kaniyang mga mata sa akin ay ramdam kong nasasaktan din siya.

It broke my heart to see Sunny cry, especially because it was me who put those tears on her pretty face. But I'd be lying if I said this didn't hurt me, too.

It made me wonder if love was supposed to be this difficult. It scared me because what if it isn't? What if this love was already toxic? What if Sunny's right... What if it's best for us to go separate ways?

Clearly, I was... obsessed.

And she was scared of commitment.

In what plane of existence does this situation end well?

"Mahirap lang kasi ang dami mo nang sinuko at sinakripisyo para sa akin. Malaking opportunity 'yong special program sa England, pero nagawa mo 'yong balewalain para puntahan at alagaan ako rito. 'Yong Dad mo... nag-away kayo 'di ba? Dahil sa 'kin?"

"It was more than that... My relationship with my Dad has been complicated since childhood. Hindi mo kasalanang nag-away kami."

"Pero hindi 'yan ang iniisip ng mga tao. Nabasa mo ba ang mga bagong labas na artikulo tungkol sa 'yo? Lahat sila, iniisip na nagkakaganyan ka dahil sa 'kin. At alam kong totoo 'yon. You're too in love with me."