Ambivalence

prologue

And how do I feel about it now? Well, to be honest, I feel quite relieved to finally get out of that toxic relationship. Sure, there's a slight part of me that feels sad and bitter about it as he was my boyfriend and the reason for our break up isn't pretty. But, then again, I don't regret most of the decisions. After all, he was the one being difficult to deal with. 

I was about to step out from the couch when suddenly my phone rang again. I thought it was Dallas, but as soon as I saw who the contact's name was I sighed in relief. It wasn't that idiot, but it was my sister, Clarissa, or we called her "Issa" for short. I picked up the call and immediately my sister's worried voice could be heard. 

"Mio! Are you alright? I saw the news about Dallas after my meeting and I rushed to call you!"

"I'm fine, Issa. It is nothing too much to worry about. I knew that jerk was cheating on me for months now, I just waited for the perfect opportunity to break up with him. And today is the lucky day." 

"Wait? So, you break up with him?" I could hear the surprise in her voice. 

"Yes, I did, just minutes before you called me."

"That's good news! We should celebrate! I and the others had been trying to separate you two for some time now. He's a ball of toxic energy and disrespectful...Also, this isn't the first time he cheated on so..."

"Yeah, I understood what you mean... I should have listened to your advice back then when he cheated on me for the first time, but I was a fool back then, too naive to know what was genuine love and not. And this time around, he did it again with a DIFFERENT girl." I rolled my eyes as I feel angry remembering what kind of heartless jerk he was. 

"Hey, it's not your fault...It's nice to hear that you finally know what's best for you. But though...How do you feel about this whole mess? I know it must be hard for you..."

"Truthfully speaking, yes it is...But it's not because I regretted breaking up with him, it is more about how I feel not being respected or appreciated enough by someone that I used to trust. You know, I don't trust people easily...But yeah...It feel sucks to be cheated on. Like, what did I do to deserve this? I think you know what I mean...The feeling like you're second best, yeah that sort of stuff..." I said as I feel sadness and disappointment, two feelings I had been trying to restrain since the phone call with Dallas. 

"Oh, Mio...I am so sorry you have to went through that...But it is all over now, you are finally free...And it is not your fault, everyone knew he was an idiot for a long time. It is his loss, not yours...You are the strongest girl I know, you will get through this! You know what, if you need anyone to talk to my door in New York is always open for you, or perhaps you want to go back to Edinburgh and meet mom and dad there? Sis, I don't you if anyone has been telling you this, but you seriously need some rest, especially after this whole drama..." I sighed agreeing with what my sister just said. 

"You are right...I need some time to get away from all this madness. First, with the entire 'cheating scandal' with Dallas. Secondly, the media and news reporters wouldn't give me a break, especially after this whole drama they're going to go after me even MORE. Schools and on top of that career's planning has been difficult too." 

"Sounds like L.A has been pretty tough, huh?"

"Yes, it is..." Then suddenly, my eyes widen as I got an idea, "Hey, Issa, where is dad building his new company again?" 

"What? Well, that is unexpected...Hmm, I think he's building it in Tokyo...Why did you ask all of a sudden?"

"I just got an idea...Remember, my graduation that is coming in 6 months? Well, I was planning to move to Milan to pursue a career in fashion, but now I think that I want to cancel that idea and switch it to business."