𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐉𝐉 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

28. a dumpster fire.

T W E N T Y - E I G H T
a dumpster fire.

Otto didn't let him go. She couldn't let him go.

After initially clinging onto his shirt they stayed there, for a long time, her tears soaking his shirt while he held her close. Eventually he told her he was going to move them, he pulled them to the head of the bed and they both layed down.

She was so close to him, almost every part of her was pressed against him.

Otto wasn't really thinking about that, she wasn't really thinking about anything but how bad she hurt.

Her entire world came crashing down and she genuinely felt like she was dying, at the beginning she was right, she wasn't really breathing. She filled her lungs with air and couldn't let it go but after JJ moved them to her room her gently told her she needed to breathe out.

Normal Otto would've told him to go fuck himself, that she knew how to breathe and didn't need his advice.

But this wasn't normal Otto, she was completely shattered, so she eventually figured out how to breathe out. After that her breathing was erratic and unpredictable, sometimes she forgot to breathe out but she'd snap out of it quickly, sometimes her chest rose and fell quickly. And sometimes she simply didn't breathe.

He didn't say anything, telling her it'd be okay wouldn't help, it wouldn't stop the hurt.

So he just let her cling onto him and he ran his hands up and down her back so he felt like he was doing something to be useful.

He liked helping.

And this time he wasn't a hinderence, he was truly helping.

The walls she had built up to protect herself against people just like JJ had collapsed, she wasn't in the right state of mind to realise they had.

All she cared was that he was right there.

Otto knew it was him.

She wanted it to be him.

He made her laugh, and smile, he knew what she liked. And in turn she knew a lot about him, what he did and didn't like.

JJ made her feel better about things. He made things bearable.

Otto cried for the first twenty-four hours, flipping between sobbing and silently crying.

Not once did JJ want to leave, he didn't want to be anywhere else but right there.

After the first day she didn't cry anymore, she was silent.

The only time she left him was when she went to the bathroom, and the only time he left her was when he went to the bathroom. He always tried to time it when she was asleep. But when he came back she was always awake, looking at her, it was easy to see how vulnerable she was.

She was no longer hard to read, anyone could walk into the room and they'd know she was heartbroken.

During the first few days, after she stopped crying, she was silent. Her mother came in, telling her she needed to eat, even if it was just a piece of toast.

Otto's mum checked in every few hours, everytime she saw JJ right there, trying his best to make her feel better. She was happy Otto had him, he was so patient. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't surprised, it was so uncharacteristic for Otto to cling to someone like they were the only thing that mattered in the world.

JJ texted the group after the day her father died after she had fallen asleep, he was very brief, just saying there was a family emergency. He didn't want to say anything beyond that.