Perfect Illusion

Astronomy

Chapter one • Astronomy

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Tammy wasn't like every other girl in a cliché romance novel.

She was different in ways I didn't even know people could be. Letting people walk all over her wasn't a new thing she has done; She sometimes made it look like she deserves to be treated that way. People really didn't care about how she felt; All they knew was that she let them do it.

She let her father's uncle molest her at the age of eight and let her oldest male cousin rape her till she fainted.

All these trauma didn't affect her personality though, not one bit. That's what made people treat her like shit.

They believed she enjoyed it since she didn't seem to need to go to therapy like every other traumatized kid out there.

But what they didn't know was that Tammy had to fight for her life with herself every single day before she stepped out of her room.

She would always look back at the rope sitting pretty at the corner in her room and have bad thoughts- bad bad thoughts.

Tammy needed an escape from reality; She was on the verge of breaking with anyone noticing.

She wasn't like others who self harmed or starved themselves or inflicted any form of suffering to themselves.

She enjoyed the mental suffering because she believed she deserved it.

Why?

Because when she was four, she let her baby brother drown in a pool. Some believed it wasn't her fault; While some pointed fingers at her and called her a murderer.

And she would always wonder if they even took a second to think of how the reality that she killed her own baby brother with her own hands haunted her.

So of course she enjoyed the pain; She enjoyed the suffering believing it was her punishment for taking away the only one who could've loved her to death.

But she didn't know someone else did love her to death.

She didn't know someone could be so desperate to belong to her world.

She didn't know that someone could be as twisted and sick in the head to love somebody like her.

That someone so unfortunately happened to be me.

I snap out of my thoughts noticing that my father is snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Yes dad?"

"I've legit being calling you for two mins now.. I didn't know you were cooped up in your room thinking about what not." He eyes me.

That's my dad.

He left my mom and I when I was just five and came back when I was eleven. I think that was the period that I and Tammy bonded the most. We both had holes in our lives. I needed a father while she needed love.

"Sorry dad, I was just stressed that's all." I say taking off my shirt to lay on the bed.

"I bought some takeout pasta and pepperoni pizza, want some?"