I have terrible taste in men, I know. I also hate the movie that he was in but I am HORNY for this SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS man right here so... here we are. This is so niche and I'm literally only writing this for myself. It's also gonna be a big ole head cannon with nothing to do with the film ✋🫣😬
ALSO SMUT WARNING
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I never thought of myself as a religious person. My parents never made me attend church on Sundays, and the only times I had stepped foot in the godforsaken places were at weddings and funerals. However, my stance on Christianity shifted slightly when I caught wind of the vampire attacks occurring in my small town. I cowered behind the cross in my local cathedral, both literally and figuratively, yearning for some small drop of protection.
But I was not afforded such safety.
The rosary beads were cold as I brought them to my trembling lips. The necklace seeped out of my shaking hands and bounced against my chest with an almost imperceptible clatter.
Almost.
The quiet noise was enough to slash through the silence and alert the intruder to my presence behind the hulking cross altar. A dark figure flew swiftly towards my visage as I screwed my eyes shut, anticipating the icy hands of death to descend onto me.
But nothing of the sort happened.
Alternatively, I felt a soft yet impossibly freezing hand grasp my cheek reassuringly. I slowly opened my eyes to view the perpetrator. A freakishly pale man with long, raven hair hovered in front of me. He donned a Victorian outfit, black as midnight. He gazed into my soul, despite being an unimaginably threatening presence, his eyes were kind.
"Now what shall I do with you?" He cooed, his voice dripping like blood in my ears.
Feeling utterly flustered, I could scarcely choke out a few words. "Who- who are you?" I stuttered.
"Ah, questions questions, dear one. You sound so silly, not knowing who I am." He grinned, slowly turning my head to the side with his hand that was still bonded with my cheek.
"I am terribly sorry." I gasped, fighting for my breath. Despite his hands not being wrapped around my neck, I felt like I was being suffocated.
"If you tell me who you are, then I might consider enlightening you." The man unhanded my cheek roughly.
"I'm Y/N. I run a little bakery a few blocks away, I'm... well, I'm basically nobody." I stammer.
"Oh, little Y/N, I am death incarnate. I am the god that will bring this world to its knees, and I am the immortal monster that will suckle from the necks of the silly little creatures that call themselves human. I am Valek, and I am a vampire."
A vampire.
"Look at you," he continued. "Cowering behind a mere symbol. This cross has no meaning to me, so why does it to you? I'll show you who god really is."
Valek swiftly snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him- our chests brushing together. He laughed a cold and humorless laugh, and pinned me to the floor without notice. His movements were inhumanly fast, enough to give me whiplash.
"I will make you a god." He rasped as his lips grew furiously close to mine.
He closed the gap between us fervently. I relaxed into the kiss, submitting to the vampire's every whim. His fangs clanked against my teeth, he even went to far as to bite my tongue with one of them. Valek's hands trailed down my torso slowly, his sharp nails digging into my flesh providing pleasure infused with pain. I let out a small moan, and he immediately broke the kiss.
"Ah, getting a little greedy, aren't we?" He chided as he adjusted himself to a standing position over me. "Oh your knees."
I obeyed. I felt an insidious force guiding me, forcing me.
The vampire unzipped his tight, black pants. As they dropped, his rock hard cock sprang out of them. He looked at me expectantly and smirked just before grabbing my hair and guiding me to his tip. I opened my puffy lips and took his length. The man threw his head back in pleasure as he kept a hand firmly rooted in my hair. I continued to suck, as sinful moans and grunts escaped his lips.
"Oh, fuck!" He groaned.
Feeling playful, I released his dick and stood up to face him. I smirked at his flustered gaze.
"Aw, getting greedy?" I mocked, mirroring the words he uttered moments ago.
"I'm starting to like you more and more." He growled as he flipped me onto my back harshly. I hit the ground with a yelp.
"Did I hurt my poor baby? Don't worry, there's going to be a lot more of that." He said as his hands traced my breasts through the thin fabric of my dress. He looked at me with an animalistic glint in his crazed eyes. Without hesitation, he ripped through the garment, fully exposing me. His hungry gaze spread to every inch of my body as he forced my legs apart. He slithered in between them, lining his tongue up with my entrance. He moved expertly around my clit, as waves of pleasure rocked me. I grabbed his obsidian hair for support, he grasped my thigh with a freezing hand.
"I'm gonna- I'm gonna cum!" I exclaimed much too loudly.
He immediately migrated down to my inner thigh. I cried out in protest as I felt him smirk. He planted a small kiss to the supple skin, then sunk his fangs deep into the tissue.
I screamed out in agony. But the pain melted away into a blinding pleasure like which I had never experienced before. I felt my crimson blood flowing out of my body rapidly, I grew woozy and black spots clouded my vision. Yet through this discomfort I was so aroused that an earth-shattering orgasm ran through my body. Valek expertly retracted his fangs, leaving two bloody hole in my inner thigh. I winced, he chuckled.
"Like I said, I will make you a god. A god just like me." He groaned as he lined his still erect cock up with my entrance.
"I'm... I'm so tired, Valek, I think I'm dying..." I grew weaker by the second as my scarlet life force freely flowed out of me.
"You're not dying. I promise. Besides, I'm not done with you yet." The vampire sneered.
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Oneshots (For Garbage Men)
FanfictionI hope you all find this as entertaining and indulgent as I do.
