Bound to Desire | Darkest Love~ Book 2 |

XXXII

I nod.

He shakes his head.
"You don't get it... Vivian you were on my mind 24/7 when you left, and I never felt this way about a woman before. Seeing you the first day of meeting, your innocence tempted me. You had me in a trance, it killed me".

I try to not to feel any worse that I feel right now.

"If I wasn't so caught up in everything with Cassian, I would no doubt leave here with you Mikhail. I just wish it was that easy..".

He nods.
"I do too".

I see his bag on the bed and I look back at him.
"Are you leaving now?".

He nods.
"I can't stay here with you, the urge to hold you and being near you while he is here is too much. We will find somewhere else, don't worry".

I look at him with concern.
"Are you sure? Mikhail.. please".

He shakes his head.
"No Vivian, I need to leave".

He grabs his bag with one hand and I move out of the way, as he opens the door and walks out.

I look down and I remember what Dimitri said. He's right, I needed to spare him.

I follow behind him and he's already out the door as Dimitri is right behind him. They walk down the stairs and out into the night.

I gasp as I feel the need to stop them but something tells me to not push him any further.

So I stay still until a hand is on my arm.
I turn a bit to see Cassian staring at me.

I sigh and I walk back in. I close the door behind me and I see him standing there, following my every move.

"I feel horrible right now Cassian, you should just go" I say as I feel shitty in this moment.

He shakes his head.
"Not leaving you like this, you're not gonna stay here and blame yourself Vivian. I won't allow that. You are allowed to feel whatever you need to feel".

I nod.
"I know but this feels wrong. I spent 2 years with Mikhail, we built something that you and I never did. We never even expressed that we were somewhat interested into each other back then and now, this. Now here I am, so quickly to throw away 2 years for someone who paid me no mind. I feel crazy".

He scoffs.
"I understand that we had nothing but I did pay you mind. In my fucked up logic I did and I know you couldn't tell. But at the end of the day you were the only woman that I could not stop dreaming of and having you beneath me was a goal I was not going to stop to achieve".

He comes closer to me and I start back away. Now thinking of it...

"Is that all I was to you at the start? Sex, the need to have me "beneath you"?.

He glares at me as what I said was a joke.
"Oh bella, no. I took risks with a business that I plead my life to, for a woman I shouldn't have paid any mind to. The objective was to just keep watch of you and here I am, not being able to spend another fucking moment away from you.
I know I was an asshole and I kept my guard up. I know Mikhail would be the better option for you. I wouldn't blame you but I can't stay away from you. And I won't stay away from you for another minute. But now I will show you that you were not wrong about this".

I look at him with curiosity as to what he means.

He gets closer to me and I stand there confused. Until he swiftly picked me up, wrapping my arms around his neck with my legs around his waist. He gives me a kiss that was so gentle and intimate that showed a different side of him.

One that wasn't aggressive but sweet. Like the taste of my favorite candy lingering on my tongue. Reminding me of every good moment of my life.

I kiss back and I take a second to collect myself. Trying to think this through and seeing if this is okay.