VOW SERIES #1: The Vows We Made (Epilogue Is Exclusive In The VIP Group)

Kabanata 12

Kabanata 12

"ZON!" tawag ko habang hinahabol siya sa labas ng coffee shop. Nang maabutan ko siya sa kotse ay nanatiling nakaigting ang kanyang panga. I could see how furious he is, but in his eyes were not just jealousy and rage... but fear, too. 

Hindi niya ako kinibo. Nang sumakay siya ng kotse ay dali-dali akong umikot patungo sa shotgun seat. Gavin went out of the coffee shop to probably check if everything is fine. Sinenyasan ko na lamang siyang aalis na kami. Baka kung bumalik pa ako sa kanya ay mag-isang umuwi si Zon. 

Gavin jerked his head in response. Nang makasakay ako ay hindi ko napigilang titigan ang mga kamay ni Zon na nakahawak sa manibela. He's gripping on the steering wheel too tight that his knuckles turned white. Hindi niya rin ako kinikibo kaya hinintay ko na lamang na marating namin ang condo.

When we got in, I immediately put my bag down and followed him inside the bedroom. 

"I'm sorry. Nanghiram kasi ako sa kanya ng pera para sa kulang sa tuition ko--"

Natigil ang sinasabi ko nang kunin niya ang passbook at ATM cards niya sa drawer. Nang ilagay niya iyon sa kamay ko saka siya naupo sa gilid ng kama at nagtanggal ng sapatos ay napaawang ang mga labi ko. Why is he giving me these?

Inilapag ko ang cards at passbook sa bedside table saka ko siya tinabihan. "Babe, kausapin mo ko. Nagseselos ka ba? Hindi ko na uuli--"

"Okay lang," tila hirap niyang sagot habang nananatili ang titig sa sahig. No, he's lying. Nakikita ko iyon sa kanyang mukha kaya hindi ko maintindihan. 

I sighed. "Zon, ikaw ang nagsabi na dapat magkaroon tayo ng maayos na communication. Valid ang selos mo dahil hindi ko sinabing nakipagkita ako sa ex ko--"

"Kung sasabihin kong nagseselos ako, you might leave me, Audrey." He drew in a sharp breath. "I don't want to give you reasons to leave me so it's fine. Iintindihin ko na lang. If you wanna meet other guys because I'm being too much of a burden, I'll try to understand you basta h'wag mo lang akong iwan. You can have my cards, too so you won't have to worry about money anymore. Ako naman ang dahilan bakit nakakahiram ka pa--"

"Zon..." 

I cupped his face, but the moment his gloomy eyes met mine, I choked with the pain I saw written on his rims. 

Humugot ako ng hininga at niyakap siya. "It's not your fault, at hindi kita iiwan kahit na magselos ka. Hindi naman kita ipagpapalit."

He drew in a sharp breath before he pulled me to straddle him. Ibinaon niya ang mukha niya sa aking balikat habang nakayakap siya sa aking baywang na animo'y mayroong kukuha sa akin. 

Sometimes I can't help but get mad at his Dad. Zon was so full of life a few months ago. He was confident and happy. Pero dahil sa Daddy niya at sa mga desisyon nito, look at my man now? Insecure and scared at the same time. Para bang palagi niyang naiisip na iiwanan siya ng lahat ng tao kung hindi siya sasang-ayon sa mga gusto namin.

Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko sa awa. I can't believe he's willing to see me with someone else instead of showing me he's jealous just because he's terrified that if he will confront me, I will abandon him, too. 

Iyong pag-uusap nila ng Daddy niya dahil sa pagpapakasal nito, kung tutuusin hindi naman iyon naging away. They just talked, but the words his Dad said caused Zon to be this way. To be this scared. At naiinis akong tatay niya pa ang dahilan ng lahat ng ito. He destroyed my man during his darkest moments. Kung kailan inaasahan ni Zon na makakaramay niya ang tatay niya sa pagluluksa sa mommy niya.

I sniffed and cupped his face as I smiled at him. "Hinding-hindi kita iiwan. There will be no other guy, I promise you that. Ito ba ipagpapalit ko? Gwapo, mabait, ang galing pang magsangag?"

Napatawa siya nang mahina, ngunit kahit na nakakurba ang mga labi niya, nanatili pa rin ang takot at lungkot sa mga mata ni Zon. 

It pains me to see him this way. Napakalayo sa bersyon niyang una kong nakilala, kaya lang ay hindi ko naman siya masisisi. Nobody wants to be this broken. Nobody wants to get stuck in their dark place, because I, too had lived there.

Hinaplos ko ang kanyang panga gamit ang hinlalaki saka ko siya nginitian. "Zon? Can we... see a therapist?"

Napawi ang kurba sa kanyang mga labi at bahagyang nalukot ang kanyang noo. "Do you think I'm losing my mind, Babe?" malumanay ngunit may bahid ng takot at lungkot niyang tanong.

"No, it's not like that. Baka lang kasi mas mapadali ang recovery mo kung professional ang kumakausap sayo. Sasamahan naman kita. Hindi kita huhusgahan at lalong hindi kita pababayaang mag-isang humarap sa kahit na ano."

Sandali siyang umiwas ng tingin at nanatiling tikom ang mga labi. Mayamaya ay humugot siya ng hininga bago niya ako muling tinignan sa mga mata. "Is me going to therapy gonna help lessen the burden you're carrying because of me?"

I sighed. "Sabi ko naman sayo, hindi ka pabigat sa'kin. Nandito ako hindi lang dahil kailangan mo ko. I am here because I love you and I wanna stay with you. Masaya ka man o malungkot."

His eyes glistened with a little bit of happiness, and that's enough for me. Kahit hindi pa masyadong masaya, basta nakikita kong kahit papaano ay hindi na lang lungkot at takot ang kaya niyang maramdaman, masaya na ako. 

Sandali akong humugot ng hininga. "If you will go to therapy tapos naging okay ka na at nakabalik sa dating ikaw, we'll do the first thing you're gonna wish."

Hinawakan niya ang aking baywang at pinagmasdan ang aking mukha. "Anything I'm going to wish, baby?"

I smiled with lips pursed as I nodded my head. "Anything my man will ask."

His thumb gently caressed my sides while he remains staring back into my eyes. "Even if I will ask you to marry me this early, are you going to grant my wish?"

Napatigil ako sa narinig at hindi naiwasang matulala. What did he say? He wants to what?

Lumamlam ang mga mata niya na animo'y iba ang naging interpretasyon niya sa aking reaksyon.

"That's what I thought," he said under his breath before he looked away. 

Sandali akong pumikit at kinagat ang ibaba kong labi. "Wala pa naman akong sinasabi, Mr. Cariano. Hindi ko naman sinabing ayaw kitang pakasalan."

"It's fine. Hindi kita pipilitin. I know we're too young for this, and maybe I'm just too scared that someday, I'm gonna see you walking down the aisle without me standing by the altar. That would be my biggest nightmare."

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "And you think you're not capable of keeping me, is that what you're saying, Zon?"

Umiwas siya ng tingin. "I just don't want to be selfish. Maybe we're young and naive but I don't think I still want another woman after you, Audrey. That's... all I'm trying to say."

Hindi ko naiwasan ang pagkurba ng aking mga labi dahil sa kilig. Maybe a lot of people will never understand why despite things going too fast between us, I'm still love drunk with him. 

They will never understand how I saw my missing piece in this man the moment I met his eyes in the club. At kahit na ganito ang sitwasyon niya ngayon ay hindi ko magawang mapagod, as if I've waited a hundred lifetimes just to be this close to him, to someone whom my soul recognizes more than anyone in the world. 

I carefully lifted his face to meet my gaze. "Ako rin naman. Gusto ko ring maging madamot." I smirked. "We could even have a secret wedding so no woman can steal you from me anymore."

Bahagyang umangat ang sulok ng kanyang mga labi. "Huwag mo kong i-tempt nang ganyan. You might not enjoy using your last name on your first job."

I rolled my eyes, trying to divert the mood before I reached for the edge of his shirt. "Let's start working on our papers tomorrow. Let's hide under the sheets and pretend we're married for now."

Kumislap ang mga mata niya nang ihiga niya ako sa kama't mabilis na pinakubabawan. "Gladly..."