Midnight Thoughts ~ Shadow & Bone

3

Age 18

If you had told me when I was thirteen that I would end up living in Kerch, much less in the upper level of a club in Ketterdam, I would've trapped you in the dark and taken a bat to your head. But that was exactly where I ended up.

So much had changed in so little time. I had abandoned my space in the basement of a warehouse on the dock in exchange for a bedroom above the Crow Club. The three street rats I had been working with–Cas, Tryne, and Marten–came and went as they needed. They continued to supply me with information, and Jesper would entertain them with his sharpshooting every once and a while.

Jesper, I had discovered, was a lot of fun to be around. He was a bit childish at times, but he made sure to remind everyone that despite the situations we were all put in, we were still young. Most of us were teenagers, and he was the best at making sure we were able to act like it, even if it was only every now and then.

Regardless of his immature actions, he was a brilliant shot, and that had saved my life countless times in only three years. There was something familiar about the way he shot, as well. Some of the shots he made should have been impossible. And yet he did it.

Very shortly after I arrived at the Crow Club, Kaz had met a girl from the Menagerie who he said showed interest in a job he was looking at. He sent me to find what I could about her, and when I told him she showed incredible promise for stealth as well as combat, he went back and began paying off her indenture to Tante Heleen. Inej Ghafa soon became one of the closest friends I had ever had.

And with her on that list was Kaz himself. He stayed true to his word, as I did mine. Nobody ever found out about what I was or what had really happened to his sister. And somehow we were closer than the others because of it. It meant we knew we could trust each other with things we didn't know we could trust the others with. And because of that there were quite a few jobs that he entrusted to me and only me. He often opted to go with me, but he made it clear he didn't trust anyone, even Inej, with them.

Hence the reason we ended up both tied up on the dock after a job went wrong at the home of a man by the name of Karl Dryden. The job itself had gone fine, but on the way back to the Crow Club, we were cornered by several members of the Black Tips. They dragged the two of us down to the harbor, laughing about how they were going to take us out and throw us into the water for a reward.

It didn't take much to figure out who had put them up to it.

"Evening, boys," Kaz said as they forced us to our knees. "This is a bit of a predicament, isn't it?" The tallest of the group grinned.

"For you," he growled. "Pekka Rollins wants us to take you two, cave your heads in, and dump you in the harbor." I smirked.

"And he didn't have the guts to do it himself, I take it," I muttered. Kaz shot a harsh glare my way, and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to offer you two choices," Kaz told them, voice dangerously low. "Option one: you let us go, and you tell Rollins the next time he wants to target me or one of my Crows, he has to do it himself. Sounds simple. Option two: you continue with your plan, and my second and I take your tongues out through your throats so you can never tell him anything ever again." I looked over at him, furrowing my brows at his words. Second...? I would have to ask him later. If we got out of this.

The man laughed, motioning for two of the other brutes to come forward. Both were carrying clubs, and Kaz whistled quietly. I knew what it meant. It was something he had done on many, many previous jobs. It was a signal that meant I was free to do what I thought I needed to.

"Any last words, rats?" the tall man asked. Kaz shrugged and looked at me, and I looked between the men standing over us before shrugging, a small smile resting gracefully on my lips.

"Zyeshostash." Before they could rack their tiny little brains to try to figure out what I said, I had cut my binds with a knife stashed in my belt and jumped up, throwing it into the tall man's chest. I ran towards Kaz, sliding to my knees and slicing through his binds as the rest of the men scrambled for their own weapons.

"Well done," Kaz murmured quietly. I smirked and threw another blade past his head, digging into the skull of a Black Tip as the boy barely flinched. "You could've stabbed me." I rolled my eyes.

"But I didn't. Do you not trust me yet?" He limped over to a barrel and picked up his cane from where it rested against it, quickly thrusting it out and jabbing a man in the stomach.

"You know I do." We continued like this for a while, taking out Black Tips and bantering back and forth, but I could tell that eventually Kaz began growing tired. I managed to get rid of all the men coming after me, but when I turned to find Kaz, I instead found three guns all aimed in his direction.

And he had no idea.

It all happened in a blur.

I heard the click of a gun cocking before the pier got dark. Unnaturally dark. I could still see, but I knew no one else could. I could hear the Black Tips' screams as the life was choked out of them. I ran towards Kaz as he tried to push himself off the ground.

"Karlin," he muttered. I shushed him as I picked up his cane and held it out to him. He grabbed onto the end, and I used it to pull him off of the ground.

We were silent as we stomped through the streets of West Stave.

I pushed open the door to Kaz's office, making it slam against the wall as I stormed across the room. He followed me inside, closing the door behind him as I stared out the window, gritting my teeth and crossing my arms.

"Do you want to tell me what the hell that was?" he asked. I could hear the frustration in his voice. I gulped and shook my head.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The click of his cane echoed through the room as he walked up behind me.

"Don't try that with me. Not even the harbor gets that dark that quickly. I always knew you were a Grisha, but you didn't think it would be important for me to know that you were a Shadow Summoner?!" I gritted my teeth, digging my nails into my arm. "That's why you never used it to help. Because you knew it could only be traced back to the Darkling!" I spun around, glaring up at him.

"Yes, and because if he knew where I was, I would be used as a weapon for the rest of my life!" He frowned and stared down at me.

"He's your-"

"Father." His eyes widened. "The stories aren't true. He's not this descendant of the Black Heretic." He furrowed his brows but said nothing, so I continued. "He is over four hundred years old."

"But the Fold was created-"

"Three hundred years ago," I confirmed. "That's right, you're starting to figure it out. My father is the Black Heretic. When I was fourteen, I discovered that he was trying to find a way to use me to strengthen his own powers, to control me. So I ran." I sighed and looked back out the window. "All the way here." I looked up at his reflection in the glass. "And I can't go back, Kaz. I can't let him use me as a weapon for his own gain. Not anymore." Kaz stepped up beside me, looking down at me, and I looked up to meet his gaze.

"You won't," he said firmly. "You're a Crow, Karlin. Not a soldier, not an Etherealki, not the daughter of the Black Heretic. A Crow. And Crows take care of each other." I smiled sadly.

"Even if he sets a prize big enough to change your lives?" He shook his head.

"It doesn't take much to change a life here," he muttered. "We can make do without whatever he puts on your head." He carefully took hold of my sleeve, lifting the edge of it to reveal the crow and goblet tattoo on my left forearm. "I swear to you, he will never be able to control you again." I smiled softly up at him.

"Careful, Brekker," I warned playfully. "All this talk of keeping me here, people will start to think you actually like having me around." A smile threatened to grace his lips, and I smirked as he leaned closer.

"And what if I do?" My cheeks burned, but before I could respond, he was gone.

Translation

Zyeshostash - Goodbye