Getting my life back on track

Figuring things out +taking a few steps backwards

Tuesday, July 26th
Entry #2
Mood: 2.5

It's day two of writing daily entries and I'm already certain I screwed up and that this is going to end up being posted on the 27th but whatever. These chapters don't exactly have a cohesive theme to them or any amount of structure but I guess that'll help me step out of my comfort zone and come up with more ideas to keep myself entertained while writing this. Hopefully that'll help to keep me motivated to continuously update this. Speaking of motivation, I've been going through a bit recently which makes me fear that I'll drop the guitar all over again which I really don't want to. I want to stick to something for once in my life but I know I can't exactly control when I hyperfixate on things. I absolutely fell in love with the electric guitar and I've been working towards getting one, I just hope that by the time I get one I will still be just as fond of it.

Today was a rough day and being able to write shit down and get it all out there, knowing no one will tie it back to me really does help. I'm worried that I'm losing interest in a band that I really adored for a while all because of the circumstances around me being far too stressful for me to dwell on things that make me happy which I know deep down is wrong but not much I can do about it. I was super happy and in love with life for a whole month but of course I spiralled and now everything sort of came crashing down for me but I'll get back on track. I'll learn to love life again in due time but for now, I'm really happy that I found a healthy way to cope and build my confidence back up in the process. Don't you worry though, not every chapter's gonna be this sappy, some will just be me writing short stories, or rambling about my day, or even just gushing about my hyperfixations. I'm excited to get to a mental state where those are going to be my priority.