Candy Hearts

Funk

So here's what you missed on glee;

Regionals is coming up and Jesse's left the club, and though it seems like he might be a spy, he also seems to really like Rachel, which is confusing. Quinn's preggo and feels that she's totally alone, and Sue won't leave Will alone, and the poor guy's trying to get over divorcing his terrible wife Terri.

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"Is it just me, or does it feel like we have a real shot at regionals next month?" Mercedes asked happily. "The Ohio show choir chat rooms have all been buzzing about how Vocal Adrenaline has lost a step." Kurt nodded, "I agree. The judges know all of their tricks and now that we have Jesse, they've lost their best performer." Y/n shook his head, "Wait, Jesse's still here? I was hoping he left. He's like a dolphin; cute until they're playing volleyball with your corpse." Rachel rushed to the group of friends in a panic. "You guys have to come to the auditorium. It's an emergency!" The five of them quickly followed after her, joining the rest of the club in the school's auditorium. "Jesse?" Rachel said confused as he stood proudly in front of Vocal Adrenaline. "What are you doing up there with them?" She asked. "I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but you guys were awful to me.

"Wow, he switched teams. What a surprise." Y/n said sarcastically, wincing as Quinn slammed her heeled foot onto his toes. Jesse shook his head, "You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas." Finn shrugged, "Why are you here? In our auditorium." "The blogs and chatrooms say that we're finished and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something that we came up with a few days ago, to see if you agree with that assessment."

Jesse smugly smiled at the New Directions as his show choir team left the stage. "Damn dolphin," Y/n gritted through his teeth as the energy around him flattened to the monotone self pitty that they had when the club first started.

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"It's a Carmel High tradition. They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show." Artie said, seemingly unbothered by the show of talent. "They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they've got, and we spiral into a deep black funk." Finn nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same to other football teams. Y'know try to get inside their head before the big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them." Puckerman nodded, "Yeah, well the difference was that our football team sucked. Those guys are golden." Y/n shrugged, "Well a deep black funk is more emotion than they've ever put into a performance. It's all surface level, they're like porcelain dolls." Tina shook her head, "Why do your comparisons always have to be so strange? I mean, you're right, but it's weird." "I'll join you guys in a minute, Y/n said as he stopped, "I gotta get some stuff out of my locker."

Y/n gave a parting wave as he reached his locker. "Didn't you hear? Supposedly, he punched Finn Hudson in the face. Twice!" Y/n sighed as he grabbed his books. "There's no way that's true." One of the blonde cheerleaders replied to her friend as she leaned against an unused locker. "I mean, some glee dork managed to land not one, but two hits on a freaking quarterback? I'm sorry but I just don't buy it." The other cheerleader who began the gossip giggled, "Yeah, but he's a hot glee dork. And who knows what he's hiding under those baggy band tee's." The third girl in the trio chuckled, "Oh, I think we all got a sneak peek during the car wash fundraiser Sue had us help out with." Y/n slammed his locker shut with his elbow as he shoved his books into his backpack. He paused wide-eyed to see the three staring at him, and it was almost scary how they practically stared him down.