Not long after I found out about my sexuality I realized I was falling for a girl in my theatre group, she didn't seem to be gay, but she was so cute and sweet that I couldn't stop thinking about her
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She always hugged me and tried to have phisical contact with me, which made me feel special and loved. I thougth she migth have feelings for me too, so I kept crushing on her more and more
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She made me realize that being bi was ok, not by anything she said to me, but with the affection she showed me. One day she kissed my cheek and I couldn't help but feel incredibly loved. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to say that she loved me too. I wanted to be her girlfriend and I wanted her to be mine
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Of course there were days in which the thougth of her being straigth crossed my mind and I triying to forget her, but she kept showing affection to me, which made it completly impossible, so I ended up coming to the conclusion that I shouldn't figth my feelings at all
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I asked her to go out with me, not as a date, but as friends. I wanted to go to a restaurant with her and tell her about my feelings. We chose a day for it and although it seemed like we were going to get out that day, by the end of the week she found out she had to be with her family
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That situation filled me with frustration and the fact that I realized that she treated everybody else the way she treated me didn't help at all. I started to think that she migth be straigth
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Still I needed to find out if she loved me back. I had no opportunity to do it in person, so I decided to do it by WhatsApp, ignoring everyone's advice not to do so.
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She reacted in a good way and accepted me for who I am, but she told me she was straigth. I tried to ignore it, but I ended up feeling really bad. I felt terribly bad with myself for being bisexual.
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I started to think I was weird and I even hated myself a bit. I managed to let go of that feelings and accept myself again and although this time I accepted myself with more strength, I still felt bad, not for being bisexual, but for having thougth those awful things about myself
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a bisexual
Non-FictionThis is the story of my Journey as a bisexual. All the events described in this book are real and form part of my story
