𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 | 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐲𝐮

༺ 𝟑𝟖 ༻

Saturday, 3:15 am

"Why don't you hold me anymore?"

Beomgyu closes his eyes as soon as those words are suddenly spoken, his ears incapable of filtrating the hurtful tone Taehyun used to voice his drunk thoughts, making Beomgyu's heart sink with the mental image of the blonde's sorrowed expression and teary eyes. They were currently laying side to side in bed, Beomgyu's stiff body functioning like a brick wall as he kept his back facing Taehyun in an unsuccessful attempt to ignore his existence. Unsuccessful because pretending the blonde didn't exist was harder than it looked since he's been the main character of his thoughts lately...

"I know you're not sleeping. Answer me!" Taehyun grabs Beomgyu's arm and pulls him in his direction in an attempt to turn him over, however, the latter doesn't flinch.

"Quit it."

"Why are you so mean to me!?" Taehyun's voice betrays him and small tears start streaming down his face, his forehead painted in a frown as his mind was too foggy to figure out what was wrong on his own. "You've been avoiding me all week. It's like you don't care about me anymore! All you do is hang out with your stupid new friend!"

Beomgyu lets out a deep sigh and changes his position to be facing Taehyun, his hands wasting no time before reaching the younger's face to clean the thick tears that were marked on his cheeks, Taehyun's eyes immediately closing. While his thumbs brush the tears away from the younger's face, Beomgyu's mind travels through the memory of Eunwoo's arms on the blonde's waist and their lips joined together in a passioned kiss, his chest hurting every time he replayed that scene in his head. Beomgyu is too lost in his thoughts for a few moments, but he comes back to his senses when he feels Taehyun's breath against his face and his lips ready to meet his own. With widened eyes, Beomgyu leans his face away, dodging Taehyun's kiss.

"We can't do that anymore."

Taehyun furrows his brow in confusion, his head stubbornly leaning forward to steal a kiss, but Beomgyu just shakes his head, moving his face away at every try. "Why not? You only kiss your new friend now? Is that it?"

"Are you jealous?" Beomgyu asks in a small voice and Taehyun groans, finally making some distance between them.

"Of course I am! You haven't looked at me once this week!" Taehyun says angrily and Beomgyu stays quiet. "I even dyed my roots and you didn't notice..."

"I did!" Beomgyu rushes to tell him, his hands gently caressing his face, ignoring Taehyun's attempts to brush them away. "You look beautiful. I was going to make fun of you, but I always shut up when I saw your face..."

"Why?"

Beomgyu looks at Taehyun's big curious eyes and his heart skips a beat. This was too much for him, the way Taehyun could hold him captive with just his gaze, the way their hands fit perfectly into one another, and the way his smile made his stomach feel funny. It was too much because it was all part of a fake reality Beomgyu was trying his best to run away from. Taehyun was a cute drunk, so Beomgyu had access to this uncommonly cute side of him and the giggles, the liking he had for Beomgyu's big hands, the way his brown eyes shined when he looked at him, his jealously towards the older... was all a lie. And the truth revolved around the fact that he was drunk and all his actions and words weren't anything more than empty promises influenced by his intoxicated state...

"Why?" Taehyun repeats.

"Because it hurts," Beomgyu answers honestly, showing him a sad smile.

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm in love with you." Saying those words out loud makes his breath fail and his whole body shiver.

"I love you too..."

"No, you don't." Beomgyu lets out a bitter snort. "But it's okay. I'm glad you're happy."

"Do I look happy to you?" Taehyun asks with new tears forming in his eyes and Beomgyu fights the urge to hug him.

"You were. On Jakes's party, next to Eunwoo."

"I don't remember..."

"You never do." Beomgyu bluntly replies, looking directly into the younger's eyes. "It's like you have an alter ego every time you get drunk. And it's too much for me..."

"What are you trying to say?" Taehyun questioned.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm tired. I'm tired of liking you, tired of getting hurt every time I see you with him, tired of feeling guilty about... what I did to you..."

"What you did to me?" Taehyun repeats confused.

"You're drunk, Taehyun!" Beomgyu says in a frustrated tone and Taehyun looks a little taken back by the sudden change. "It was fine at first, all I had to do was to listen to you while you ranted and cried... But now it's gotten too far and I regret everything. I regret kissing you on that day, I regret faking this stupid contract just so I could use you to fall asleep, I regret noticing new things about you because every time I see you doing them when you're sober, it's like they are haunting me, I regret taking a liking at you, I regret to start liking the sober you. I feel bad about everything we did. I wish I could take it all back."

"But..." Taehyun tries to speak but the ravenette stops him.

"Someone once said that love is supposed to be beautiful, a magical feeling... That once you find it, your life will take different forms and you'll stop looking so much at the ground. You'll feel happier with life and you'll be able to know your true self. But all you give me, Taehyun, is pain." Beomgyu takes a deep breath and moves slightly closer to him in bed. "And it's painful because this right now isn't you, it's a fake version of the real Taehyun, the one that despises me, the one who thinks I'm a nuisance, the one I like..."

Beomgyu notices Taehyun is quiet, his mind probably not assimilating anything, however, he doesn't give up.

"If you- I mean, the sober you- like me the slightest... It can be just a little bit, the size of an ant, really... If you care about me even just for a little, please don't date him. At least for now. Because I don't think I'll be able to take it. Please Taehyun, if you feel the slightest thing for me don't date Eunwoo. Please. Don't date him, please. Don't date him, don't date him..."

Beomgyu repeats that last sentence for a few minutes, helplessly hoping that Taehyun would somehow remember something when he wakes up. And he barely notices as the blonde gets closer to him, ready to kiss him, causing Beomgyu to let out a frustrated groan and get up from the bed, his words clearly unheard. He closes his mouth into a thin line and walks with quick steps towards the door, his shoulders as heavier as they ever were and his heart sinking further with every step.

Just please, don't date him...

NOTE :

Okay, this clearly needs to be revised because it's 4 am and my writing late at night is usually weird. Anygay, hope you're all having a wonderful night/day! 💙