1950s Summer

Chapter 20- Rehearsals

Once you were back at the house, you unloaded the car with Carol and found Alicia inside at the dining table.

"Y/N?" Alicia called out to you.

"Yes."

"Richard has stopped by at least 5 times now. I think you should call him." She smiled at you.

"Alright, I will." You said as you looked at Carol. With you on the phone, Carol would be able to talk to Alicia in private. Carol slightly nodded and you walked away as you called Richard.

You wondered how Carol would go about the situation. The one thing you did know was that she wouldn't ask her right away. If Alicia knew that Carol was worried about her, Alicia would begin to worry too. Carol also knew that she wouldn't do a thing to ruin Elaine's wedding, rehearsal or not. That was one of the reasons you loved Carol. She thought of everything, and was the most considerate person you had ever met. She always did what was best for everyone, sometimes sacrificing herself for it.

"Hello." Richard answers on the other side of the line. You almost forgot that you were ringing him.

"Umm. Hey Richard." You took a deep breath to try to calm yourself. You didn't think you would get this worked up to just call him. "I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you."

"It's alright." He was blunt with his answers which wasn't helping your situation being that this was the call that was ending the whole thing, but maybe he knew that too.

"I just want to say that I really did like hanging out with you. I just think we're at two different parts of our lives right now." You had to stop to take another breath. You hated this. "I go back home after the summer ends, and you go off back to your really nice (rich) life." You didn't say rich out loud, but you thought about it.

"I had a feeling this was coming, but I'm glad you decided to talk to me instead of just leaving me hanging." You could hear pain in his voice and it made you want to crawl into a hole and die. You hated making people feel this way. "I had a good time with you too. I hope you have a nice trip back." You heard a long deep breath. "Maybe we will see each other later on in life."

"Maybe, yah." You said as you looked down at the tile floor in the kitchen. "Goodbye Richard."

"Goodbye."

You heard the line hang up.

You hung the phone back up and just stood there leaning against the wall. You really did feel bad, but you knew if you tried to hang onto your relationship with him, it would end badly. It would be way worse. He would be heartbroken by me, or he finds out that you love Carol. None which would be alright.

You walked upstairs and started to get your clothes gathered together. The day after the wedding you would be leaving to go back home. You were sad about it, especially with just living out the love you always wanted, but you couldn't just run away from your other life. That one if anything was more important anyway.

For now, you were going to enjoy the last days you had. Another thing that would be happening once you left was you were ending things with Carol. You thought of every situation and scenario, but none ended well with a happy life. So you were going to be selfless and let Carol have the opportunity to live the best life she could, one without you.

That's that.

_______

At the venue, everyone had their set seats with name plates and all the other things that go with it. Elaine looked a bit stressed while her fiancé was having the time of his life. Alicia looked normal, you couldn't figure out what was wrong. Abby looked a bit worried. She would have a quiet chat with Carol every once in a while. You could see them out of the corner of your eye.

They were probably discussing Alicia. You kept your distance because you thought that's what Carol would want. You weren't really sure, but hoped you were making the right decision.

Before the instructions for the wedding night started, Alicia walked up to you.

"You look just like your mother right now. She would always dress like this. A bit fancy, but she never stood out in a bad way." She smiled and looked at the floor. "She would have loved to see you dressed up like this." She took another long, deep breath. "She would have loved to see you in white too."

"I know Alicia." You gave her a pity smile the best you could along with a tight hug.

That's all Alicia really needed to say to tell you what was wrong. You now knew what the problem was. You really should have picked it up earlier, but you were so consumed with Carol. You wanted to blame yourself for not noticing, but how were you to know?

You were the problem. Being here, with everyone except for your mother. Alicia missed your mother almost more than you did. And you reminded Alicia of your mother too much. That's why she was sad.

You debated on when to tell Carol your new found information. After dinner was probably the best, unless you waited until after the wedding. No, you couldn't do that. Carol would keep worrying up until the wedding, and you wanted her to enjoy her time before you left. After dinner it would be.

You looked around while everyone was talking, admiring the friendliness in people and the playful chatter between them all. They all looked so happy, you wanted to be happy too.

On the way back to the beach house, you rode with Carol in her car and told her your new discoveries.

"No." She replied.

"No? What do you mean no?" You were completely confused.

"I don't think you're the problem. I really mean that."

"Well I may not be the problem, but I contribute to it." You looked at her to see any reaction, but her face was blank. "I'm heading back home the day after the wedding anyways, so that should help boost Alicia's mood until the fall returns."

"You're leaving early." She said, almost asking.

"Yes." You looked at her again and you could see her face feel heavy. "I probably won't be coming back to the summer house, or close to here, any time soon."

"Is it because of me?" She sounded sad, heartbroken.

"Not completely." You couldn't believe yourself. "I thought that after everything, you would be the one to break things off with me, but here I am leaving you. I do love you. Probably more than you can imagine, all the years and times you probably haven't even noticed. I have loved you completely and wholeheartedly. And I have to do the best thing for you. And that is to not be in your life anymore."

"That's not true." She was hurt. Just like Richard was.

"It is thought. That's why you were having so many doubts at the beach house, and now that I know that I'm making Alicia sad. I know that I just can't be a part of your lives anymore."

"What if I want you to be?" This was heartbreaking to hear out of her lips.

"I don't want to cause anyone anymore pain."

The both of you were quiet the rest of the ride. You were looking out the car window, holding in your tears and hoping that you could get up to your room quickly, unnoticed so you could cry in peace. You couldn't look at Carol again.

Once Carol pulled into the driveway, she turned off the car and didn't immediately get out.

"I'm sorry." You said as you got out and went to your room, not stopping to hear her response.

In your room, you locked the door and just sat on the floor for a while trying to regroup yourself. You really felt terrible. You just wanted the best for Carol and Alicia. The only way you could think of helping was by leaving.

You left a few minutes pass and then got up and continued your packing from earlier, only leaving out the items you needed for the wedding.

All of a sudden, you heard your door knob rattle and stop from when you locked it. Then without hesitation, a spare key was grabbed in the hallway and your door opened to see Carol standing outside your room.

"I can't let you do this." She said demandingly.

"You have to."