after heartstopper<3

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A/n: so I thought I'd explore deeper topics cuz heartstopper isn't just happy happy happy (wish it was UGH)
TW: sh, Ed, blood

*CHARLIES POV*
Lifes been really sucky lately. I've been struggling with eating, nicks having to spend so much time with daisy because she's lovely, but SO needy. And he seems to be just fine without me. He never seems to notice I've stopped eating, he doenst notice I don't sleep either. And I know he can't always be there for me but I don't think I can take care of myself. I was up to the washroom and out of pure habit, I grab the razor blade I keep behind the cabinets. I know nicks out with daisy.

It's just a small cut, you've done it before. What are you, a coward?? Nick doenst love you anymore, he stopped caring idiot.

I know it's all on my head but I can't fight it and I don't. I give into my habits and make a small cut. I watch myself bleed and my emotional pain starts to slip away. It feels so good yet I KNOW it's so bad. I have tears streaming down my face and blood is everywhere when I hear a soft knock on the door.

"Charlie, you good? Daisy just fell asleep" nick said calmly. Oh god he had no clue what was going on. He would flip out. "Nick, please just leave me alone ok?" I chocked on my tears. He immediately started to ask me to open the door. I scrambled to hide everything and clean up my wrists. I cleaned up just in time and started to wash my hands and act as if I was ok. "Just going to the washroom, I read a sad book and was crying, don't worry about me" I said shrugging off his worries as I left the washroom. He could sense something was off. "Charlie, don't even pretend like I don't know what's going on." Nick said and scooped me into a hug. I instantly crumbled and broke down crying. "Nick I'm so so so so sorr-" I stumbled out. "Don't say the word Char." He said and rubbed my back. I'm so fucking stupid. Why tf did I do that, oh god.

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Well that was an emotional rollercoaster :/
What's ur guys fav colour??
Love,
The author