I'm In This for Real

I Want to Learn How to Please Him

*flashback*

Miranda was in the cafeteria drinking some coffee in her own little world.  She was thinking about the date she was having with Ben tonight.  She had a light day and planned on leaving by noon to get some rest.  They both were invited to Meredith and Derek's house for a party.  She knew she had to at least make an appearance, and support Derek as the new chief while Richard went through recovery, but she knew they would not stay long.

She did not want to have to deal with the stares and answer questions about who she was there with.  After all she was still married albeit going through a divorce, but she was still a private person.  No one needed to know her business. The only people who knew she was dating Ben was Arizona and Callie.  

She and Ben were way past their eighth date, and she liked him a lot. She really liked him a whole lot and her body had been screaming it was time to take it further.  Their last few dates, their making out had become hot and steamy.   He was bringing her to orgasms by sucking on her breast and fingering her, but now she wanted more.  She knew tonight would be the night.  

While Miranda was sitting there daydreaming, Callie came in.   She walked over to the coffee station and made herself a cup.  While putting in her cream and sugar, she noticed Miranda and the look on her face.  She walked over and startled Miranda when she said,

"Hey, Bailey what's that look for?

Miranda jumped a little clearing her thoughts of the memory of what Ben does to her body.

"Oh, hey Torres. Nothing I was just thinking."

"Yeah, about what?"

Miranda looked around to make sure no one could hear her. In a low voice and leaning in she said, 

"I think I am ready to sleep with Ben."

Callie smiled a toothy grin and loudly said

"Oh my God Bailey I'm so happy for you."

"Shh.....why do you have to be so loud?"

"Oh...yeah right...um well you really think you're ready?"

"Yes...Yes, oh God yes, I'm ready........ but I am a scared."

"Scared....Why Bailey ... I've seen the way he looks at you.  That man wants you badly."

"Not about him wanting me....." 

Miranda searched for the right words to confess to her friend.

"I'm not the most experience at sex.  Tucker is all I have known.  I know about but have never engaged in.........like........ oral sex.  I have never pleasured a man orally and I have never been pleasured orally.  Knowing Ben this will probably be something he wants to engage in.

Callie laughed out loud and said,

"Are you kidding me?"

Miranda gave her the Bailey look

"Oh yeah right you wouldn't kid about something like this.  Okay, Ummm....Well can I give you a little advice?"

Miranda rolled her eyes.  The last time Callie gave her advice she said that the third date was the sex date and that was further from the truth with Ben.  However, she shook her head and told her to go on.

"Why don't you rent a movie?"

"A movie?"

Miranda said confused

"Yeah, a porn."   

"Callie?"

"What?  If you want to know how to do it, rent an instructional porn.  I bet it will teach you a thing or two." 

Miranda just shook her head

"Why do I even bother with you?"

"Miranda I'm serious.   Just go to the adult bookstore and browse around.  They have videos for everything. How do you think I.........

"Nope..... Nope......Don't say another word."

Callie laughed and stood up 

"Look Miranda if it's something you really want to do, go to the store."  

Callie left and Miranda sat their thinking.  Maybe she will go, just to look around.  Miranda finished her early day and left.  She text Ben and told him she would see him around 8:00. He had a longer day than she did.

Miranda left and while driving she decided to go the bookstore like Callie suggested.  She parked her car and took a deep breath.  She expected it to be a dingy place with quarter peep shows.  She was remembering the adult bookstore that she would pass on her way to school when she was a child in Baltimore.  

She got out of the car and walked in and to her surprise it was a clean and well-organized place of business.  There were other customers inside, but no one look sleazy or like a pervert.  Miranda walked and looked around not knowing where to start or go.  A young lady came from behind the counter and walked up to her and asked if she could help.

Miranda with big doe eyes said,

"Oh, umm yes, I am looking for something on oral sex"

She said quickly and embarrassed. 

"Ma'am we're not here to judge.  We're here to help.  So please don't be embarrassed."

Miranda took in a deep breath and said,

"I am looking for a video on how to perform oral sex"

The young woman gestured for her to follow her.   She walked to a row of videos and books and pointed out a couple suggestions.  Miranda's eyes widen at all the selections on the subject.   The clerk left Miranda alone to choose for herself.  Miranda read the back of video packages and books and after a while picked out a book and a video, she felt could help her. 

She walked up to the counter and laid down the book "Her Guide to Going Down" and the video "Learning Better Oral Techniques."  The clerked smiled and said they were very good choices and that she hoped they help.  Miranda smiled and thanked the clerk, while she rung her up.  She left with her packages and went home.   

When she got there, she got comfortable and laid in her bed and began to read.   She was impressed with the instructions both in words and pictures.  She started to feel a little aroused reading and thinking how she could please Ben orally.  She watched a little of the video and also learned some other things she could do.  She was glad Callie suggested to go to the bookstore.  She was feeling like she would be ready to give and receive oral pleasure. 

That night Ben and Miranda went to Derek and Meredith's party.  Sure, enough there were a lot of eyes on them, and she felt uncomfortable, so they decided to leave after about an hour.  Miranda and Ben were on his couch making out and she knew this was finally it.   She was ready to give herself to him.  After her little speech and him ignoring her, he led her to his bedroom.  She was having a wonderful time, but she chickened out.  Her heart was almost beating out of her chest when Ben slid down her body and spread her legs.  Just before he was about to deep his tongue into her center.  She stopped him.  She just couldn't do it.  Her fear got the best of her. 

*End Flashback*