SIN

Chapter 1: Death

                                       Liyah
Growing up, you never think about how you'll feel when your parents die. You never would have expected to find relief from it. Yet, today I do. It is an odd feeling when both your mother and father commit suicide and don't so much as leave you a note. But somehow, I'm relieved. My childhood was nothing if not torturous. A drug addict father and a mother that refused to acknowledge it. Quite the family for a child to be born into. When I was young, I always wished I had a sibling. Selfishly, just so I wouldn't have to take on my parents alone. My mother worked a lot. Throughout my whole life, my father never had a job. My mother supported the family financially. So I was stuck at home most days with my father either passed out in his room or in front of the tv watching the news and ignoring the existence of his child. Although I resented my father for wasting away his life, I liked that man more than the man he became when my mother got home from work. I think his fragile ego couldn't stand hearing my mother talk about her job. Not that he actually wanted to work. There wasn't a single night of my childhood that I can remember when they weren't fighting. The only time they ever pulled it together was every Sunday morning when they put on their fake identities so we could play "Happy Family" at church. We went every Sunday, no matter what. But when we got home, it went right back to our usual routine. I could never understand why my mother stayed. I didn't really like the idea of being with my mom all the time but it sure beat the hours of abuse I endured from my father. My mother seemed to blame me for her problems. She often told me the only reason my father was such an angry person was because I turned him into one. She would tell me stories of how kind he was when they first met and how he worked hard to provide for her and take care if her. Both of my parents made it clear that I was not wanted. But yet, here I am digging through my parents' room looking for any sign of a will or note they might have left behind. I hear my cell phone ringing from the kitchen and I scramble up off the floor to grab it. I see it's my roommate and answer. "Hey, how's the search going?" she asks as soon as I pick up. I sigh, "Not too good. I haven't found anything yet. I doubt they even cared enough to write anything out." I shake my head, sitting down in one of the dining room chairs. "The pastor at their church called asking if i needed help planning the funeral. He wants to host something at the church since that was like my parents' second home." I hear Chloe hesitate before saying, "Maybe you should do it. I know you had a rough relationship with them but everyone deserves a decent going away party. Plus if the pastor is offering to help, you don't have to do everything yourself." I stand up looking around for my bag so I can leave. "It's probably better that he do it then me. They definitely liked him more" I say. Chloe laughs, "Call him back and set a date. I'll go with you so you don't have to be there alone." Chloe has been my best friend since high school. She knows everything about my parents and how I grew up. She knows how much I hate that place. We say our goodbyes and hang up. I grab my keys, locking the door as I exit the house. I walk out to my car before slumping into the driver's seat. I let out a deep breath looking back at the house. I'm never coming back here. My parents left it for good, and now so will I. I find the pastor's number in my phone and press call.