Secrets, Lies, and Summer Skies

Chapter Thirty-Four

"Look," I said impatiently. "I don't need car insurance. I haven't had an accident at work. And, like, I'm not super into the idea of you beating your meat like a safari park chimp while you listen to me breathe. So, unless you've got something to tell me, I'm hanging up."

"Wait!"

"Trey?" I did nothing to hide the shock in my voice. I even pulled the phone away from my ear to double-check the screen. I'd blocked his number, so that was probably why he'd called anonymously. Anger bubbled in my veins when I demanded, "What the fuck do you want?"

I should've known he'd been the one bothering me for most of the summer. No one else would be so determined to make my life miserable. Well, maybe Anna, but I couldn't imagine she valued our friendship enough to bug me about it after I'd left. If she'd really given a single crap about me, she wouldn't have slept with Trey in the first place.

"What do you think I want?" he asked.

"I don't know, are you checking to see if I have any other friends you can sleep with?"

I turned away from the window so I wouldn't draw Grayson's attention. The last thing I wanted was for him to give Trey a piece of his mind. He wouldn't be able to punch him in the face through the phone, so there was no risk of an assault charge as there had been with Mark, but Trey would immediately figure out what was going on between us and tell Dad. Besides, I could fight my own battles. This was a situation better handled alone.

"You don't need to be childish about this."

"I think I've earned the right to be as childish as I want."

"Whatever." Trey drew in a deep breath. "Look, what I did was bad, okay? Like, really bad. But we need to talk about it sometime, you know? Face to face."

"Sure, sure. That's an option. Or – crazy idea – but you could also fuck off forever?" I suggested. "You haven't bothered with me for most of the summer, so how about you just keep on doing that?"

Another deep breath from Trey. It was like he was trying to keep his calm while I insulted him which, honestly, was a total joke. If anyone should be mad as hell, it was me. I'd done nothing to warrant his being frustrated with me yet, from the way he paused, I couldn't help but feel he held a different opinion on the matter.

"Babe, I went to Hawaii to give you some space. We both needed to think about what happened and why."

"I mean, I think what happened is you fucked my friend. The why is because you're both assholes."

"It happened because of all the pressure I was under," he countered. "You kept talking with my parents about marriage and kids. It was a lot to take in. After what happened... I needed time to decide what I wanted. What was important in my life."

I'd approached my dresser and idly flicked receipts off it and onto the floor. I was only half-listening to the garbage spilling from Trey's mouth. The urge to hang up was overwhelming. To tell him all the awful things that I'd thought about him all summer, that I'd moved on, and that he and Anna deserved each other. The only problem was that he'd just keep calling back. I still couldn't block the withheld numbers and he'd take advantage of that. It was better to let him have his rant so that I could tell him to get out of my life.

Then, we could both move on.

"Oh, of course, what you want in life is the most important thing to consider," I said in a sarcastic tone.

Trey ignored me. "What I want is you. Us. The future we'd planned. That white picket fence life."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're kidding, right? You can't be so fucking deluded to think that I'd take you back after everything you've done."

"I just want you to think about it." Trey urged. "Don't throw everything away over one mistake. We could have a really great life together, babe. Everything that you wanted. I was an asshole, but it'll never happen again."

"Oh, I know it won't happen again," I agreed. "Because I won't let it. I won't let a piece of shit like you back in my life. Ever. I can't even believe I've let you talk this long because everything coming out of your mouth is total crap. It always has been, and it took you cheating on me to see it. I'd literally rather die than take you back."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Me? You're the one who thinks they deserve a second chance!" I shouted. "Have you given a moment's thought to what I want?"

"... Well... what do you want?"

I approached the window and stared down at Grayson. He noticed me and lifted his arm to wave, a broad grin across his face as he admired his new car. When I thought about what I wanted, my brain was flooded with pictures of him. I thought about how it felt to be in his arms. The way his eyes lit up when I entered a room. I remembered all his smiles. The times I'd caught him looking at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention. It was a million little things all at once that made me realize that I could face just about everything that might come my way as long as he was by my side through it all.

"Not you," I said. "I'm done. We're done. And give up on your sick prank phone calls because they don't scare me, and they won't make me change my mind."

"I haven't –"

"Goodbye, Trey."

Hanging up on my cheating ex was more cathartic than a month of therapy.

When I'd walked out of the apartment, I hadn't had a chance to tell him everything that I felt and thought. I'd been too shocked and upset to make sense of my feelings. All I'd wanted was to put as much distance between us as possible. At the time, I'd been caught up in grieving everything I'd thought I'd lost because of his betrayal.

Now, I could see what I'd gained.

I'd never condone Trey's behavior, but it'd opened my eyes to how farcical our relationship was. What an insult to love it was to ever believe that it was all I should expect in life. I'd lowered my expectations and believed that he was the best thing to happen to me. That I could be happy to continue like that for the rest of my life.

But good enough wasn't ever going to be enough for me.

I needed more.

I deserved more.

And, when I looked down at Grayson sitting behind the wheel of his new car like a kid with a shiny toy, I knew that I'd found everything I wanted and so much more.

I loved him, and I never wanted to settle for less ever again.