𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗧 || l. ackerman

Chapter 14

Levi heaved a sigh, but it's not like he did it out of annoyance, he moved closer to you and sat on the chair beside you to look at you. "Because I want you to get a good night's rest tonight, so you don't need to think about it."

But even so, you barely had a good night's rest. Much like on occasion, you would wake up in the middle of the night, complaining mentally about the bed sheets or the mattress or the duvet, you just don't seem to find any comfortable spot no matter how much you toss and turn, considering you can't toss and turn that much. But tonight, more than any of that stuff that used to bother you, what made you wake up in the middle of the night was the tug in your stomach again.

You don't want to think about the Expedition as much as you can, but your mind wouldn't let you. And now that the contractions you seldom feel before had you waking up in the middle of the night or close to daybreak, you couldn't help but think about it even more.

Knowing that slumber wouldn't come to pay a visit any time soon, you took a shawl and draped it on your shoulders before you climbed down the bed and headed to the balcony door, slipping out as silently as you could so Levi wouldn't wake up, you stood out the balcony and clutched you shawl closer.

"You can't sleep too," you muttered, looking down on your belly. "You must have felt my anxiety. The Expedition beyond the walls had never ended in victory, always in loss. Great loss of great soldiers, comrades, friends and family."

So you can't help it when the thought keeps striking your mind. Never once did humanity ever declare victory when they explore beyond the walls. It's their territory, the titans. And the Scouts never learn a single thing, so much that the citizens started to think the Expeditions were merely a sham, that the Scouts are wasting their taxes.

"When you grow up," you said, voice barely above a whisper. "I just wish that you get to live in a better world."

A world that stretches as far as one's eyes can see. But as the fog started to clear, out in the distance you can see the walls, erected hundreds of years ago to keep what remains of humanity from the titans that eat humans for mere sports. How those high and mighty walls are built you had no idea, no one ever had an idea, but it's what keeps everyone safe, protected, even if it means putting everyone in a cage like birds that can fly only as high as the cage can let them.

"And here I thought you were on your way to HQ," Levi said from behind and you almost jumped in surprise.

"You're already up." You watched as he joined you in the balcony, standing beside you but he was looking ahead.

"It's already dawn," Levi said and when you looked ahead you saw the sky that was obsidian black when you woke up started to lighten up with a smudge of rose pink and purple from the light of dawn. And before long the sun would already touch the land and before long Levi would already have to go back to Headquarters to prepare for the Expedition that will commence in a week.

"I've always liked it," you started. "Sunrise. It reminds me that there is hope after what seemed like a long dark moonless night."

The words you spoke were followed by the silence lingering around, until you heard Levi speak, just one word, a name.

"Lucas," Levi said and for a second you thought he was calling someone, or that he was about to talk about a friend of his. But then you realized what he meant moments later when Levi looked at you. "If it's a boy, I want to name him Lucas."

"Oh," you muttered before you chuckled and looked down. "Lucas,"

At the mention of the name for the second time you felt the baby move and you felt the stretch of your lips in a smile. "I think it likes the name."

"Of course," Levi said, looking back ahead to the crack of dawn. "It has a nice meaning."

"What does it mean?"

You and Levi looked as the sky that's painted in an ombre of pink and purple started to change into blue and golden yellow as the first beam of sunlight went past the walls.

"It means bringer of light."

"Bringer of light," you muttered, a smile still evident. "It's such a beautiful meaning."

"And if it's a girl, the name Lucille will do. It means light."

By now the sun had pierced the darkened sky and the sign of morning had awoken most of the people in town as shops started to open and people started to walk by to get to work. And Levi turned around, walking back inside as you followed.

"How did you know the meaning of those names?" you asked, taking your shawl off as the temperature started to become warmer.

"Reading," Levi said simply.

You were still following behind him when Levi suddenly stopped and turned around to face you while you almost bumped into him had you not stopped in your tracks.

"I'll have to go back to HQ. After the Expedition I'll make sure to go back here as soon as possible."

It's rare that you see Levi look hesitant, almost as though he doesn't want to go. Although at a glance people wouldn't see the falter in his eyes, you had seen and memorized every detail of him that you can see the waver. So with a smile, you assured him.

"And we'll be waiting for you here." You took a step closer, lifting your hand to touch his face. "So come back as soon as you can, alive and well. Lucas and I will be waiting."

And there you saw, the slightest upturn of the side of his lips hinting the little smile. "You really think it's a boy?"

"Do you want to bet?"

"Betting on our child, no thanks."

You chuckled lightly, your hand falling down as you heaved a sigh, the smile slowly leaving your lips as you tore your gaze from him and looked down, feeling suddenly sad.

"And I know I'll lose," Levi suddenly said, making you look up at him again. "They said mother knows best."

"Oh but you came up with the best names."

Lucas if it's a boy, Lucille if it's a girl. Both names mean light. And in this world where the sun rises much later and sets much earlier because of the high walls, your child will bring about light wherever they go. For they carry it in their name.