Tyga: Take Care of My Heart

Lets Play The Game

================================================================================So.... Tell me why I made Chyna seem so ratchet lol................... And tell everybody to check to this out. inbox suggestions and all that. thanks for all the views on the last one. it made me smile :). and if this gets 3 votes imma put up a chapter of Nas and her dad's fight!!

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So where are we going??? "You ever hear about the YMCMB mansion?" No.. You got to remember... I hadn't even heard about you when we first met. "You really live under a rock." Well... If the shoe fits *lifts up foot*. I just never listened to rap. "Why?" I never told you? "I guess not."

Well... My brother was a rapper. He wasn't big or anything. But he really was living the life. "What life?" He was only 18. But he was drinking, getting high and all this other stuff. He even stopped going to church. "What's wrong with that??" My mom and my dad were preachers. "Well damn." 

So one day... My brother and my dad got into a really bad argument. Somethings were said. And my dad finally had it. He had tried his best to be a good father. But his boy... His son. The one he took the basketball practice. The one he used to take go cart racing. The same boy who once said he wanted to grow up and be just like him was slowly disappearing before his eyes.

"What was the argument over??" I can't even remember... I think my dad found weed inside my brother's room or something. All I remember was going inside my closet and slamming the door. I never had seen my dad so mad. Or was he sad??? In between the yelling.. He was crying too. As if he really was upset that he had to kick my brother out on the street.

"Do you think he was???" I honestly think he was. He Nas too many chances. "So his name was Nasire?" Yeah... It was... It used to hurt saying his name for a very long time. It always makes me think of my mom. "You never really talk about your parents..." I know.... Well my dad..... I don't speak to him. Let's leave it at that. And my mom.... I can't speak to her. "Why??"

The day after the argument... I found my mom crying on the kitchen floor. She was hysterical. Lines from her mascara had covered her whole face. I had tried to calm her down. But she told me to go away. I just remember her sprawled out on the floor. Pleading to God. Begging him to end her meaningless life. "Why was she crying?" Earlier that day... The cops came to tell her that her son had gotten shot and killed. She blamed me my dad (especially) the man at the corner store..... Pretty much everyone.... Then, she started using the pain pills... That made it better. But then she started having violent episodes where she would lash out at us.

"Wow.... So what happened after that??" My dad thought that making her go to church again would help her out. But, that just made it worse. And it only allowed every at church to see what was going on at our house...... And in the end... I think it made my dad start to question his faith. When our life was "perfect".... God is great. God is good. And all that. But when we lost my brother and we started losing my mom.... He started losing faith. The fact that my mom blamed him for Nas' death didn't help either. So.... we just put her in a home...

I was devastated.... Even though my mom  started losing it.... She still was my mom. She was far from perfect but.... I couldn't just leave her. But... I had to.. The therapist said that leaving her there was the only way she could ever get better.

And for a long time.... I blamed rap. It tore my once happy family apart. It took my brother away. And.... I t stopped me from ever being able to see my mom again....

"Do you still feel the same?" No..... I just didn't blame my brother.... I didn't want to face the facts... If my brother could've just better person... Then he'd be alive. And my mom wouldn't be crazy.... "So you think its your brother's fault?" Honestly.... No.... But someone always got to be the blame.... Right?????

 *****************Meanwhile*****************

Chyna:

I'm already 4 months pregnant..... I can't fit any of the clothes in my closet... Either they make my butt look disgustingly big... Or its so tight that I can't walk up the steps in.... Being pregnant is the worse..... I'm always hungry...... I'm always throwing up....... And it feels like I'm doing this all by myself. Fine.... Tyga aint my baby daddy. But, he can at least be here. Its not like he knows he's not the baby daddy!! Damn!! I know why bitches just abort they babies. I just can't deal!!!

I needs to shop!!! 

Back when I was still little (pre pregnancy)...... The mall used to be a paradise. Tyga left me... *Buy 4 heels*. We back together.... *Make that 5*. I realized I didnt have any "girlfriends" *Buy a ring*. Mom found out I was a stripper -_-.... *Buy her a Givenchy set*

But now.... The mall is obscenely small. There are almost no clothes that fit me. And.... Soon.... Ya girl gon have to start buying clothes from Lane Bryant.

*starts walking to Lane Bryant*   So........ This is how the other side shops............... I see big people who actually can dress. Real women with curves. I feel like..... I belong!!     I get all this stuff and I bring it to the counter......... "So..... Is this everything???"  questioned the casheir...  No..... I want the invisible shit too! "Look.... Im not getting paid enough for this shit. I got 2 kids. And-" Wait.... You have kids? "Yes. I used to be able to wear all the latest fashion until I had kids. I got into the real world............" So.... Is being a mother hard? "You have good days... And you have some bad. But at the end of the day... Seeing your kids smile makes it all worth it.    

Thump thump.... My... My... My baby just kicked! "I used to be the same way my first time being pregnant." So.. I know this is really personal.. But is the father of your children in their lives???

"Honestly... No... But he tries. And really... That's all I can ask for. He loves the kids. And they love him. A lot of people can't say the same."

Sometimes its just so hard. I act like being pregnant isn't a big deal to me. But really... Im afraid. I didn't have the best childhood. My mom tried to live her life through me. My dad didnt want to have anything to do with me. And I never really fitted in as a kid. I don't want my child to have to go through that.

"When I say that I feel the same exact when raising my children. Man, you just don't know. I try to get them everything they wan. But it always seems like they want more. But for them... The world wouldn't be enough."

I can tell your an awesome mom. And if I'm 1/2 as good a mom as you.... My kids... "Wait.. Your having twins???" Umm.... Yeah