𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 [𝐣.𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫]

28: 𝔧𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔩𝔢𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔡

Maybe the truth of the matter was that he'd finally gotten what he deserved. There was only so much joy you could have for being foolish, for entrusting an arrogant pureblood boy with your innermost secrets.

He finally got what was coming for him. It had only been a matter of time.

"Remus?" Madame Pomfrey asked quietly, her eyes unusually bright, "are you okay, my love?"

And he found himself shaking his head, devastated and heartbroken and in the worst pain of his life

"No," he whispered, his cheeks cold and raw. "My head hurts."

And so he let her tip potion after potion down his searing throat, soothing every hurt but one.

********

When Remus woke up the second time, he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed (to which god, deity, or spirit was out there) that he was dead.

He'd had exactly half a millisecond of bliss before the harsh reality set in. Then he hated himself for forgetting because it meant that everything came crashing back at once.

He hated his brain for not even being able to properly process everything that had happened. Didn't he at least deserve that?

"Hiya, Remus. How d'you feel?"

He looked up to see Peter, looking paler than usual sitting in the flimsy Hospital Wing chair. His eyes were red a swollen, but much to Remus's relief, he was not injured.

Peter gave him a smile that looked more like a grimace and pressed a small box of Valentine's chocolates into his limp hand.

"Sorry 'bout the box," he said tiredly, smiling at him wryly, "they were the only ones I could find on short notice. Left over from Valentine's Day, I s'ppose. We've completely exhausted our supply of chocolate frogs."

He continued to ramble about chocolate, anxiously picking at the threads on his sweater until Remus feared his sweater would unravel altogether.

Remus closed his eyes blearily. He didn't have enough energy to formulate words, and his throat ached.

Peter sighed. "Sirius wants to talk to you."

"Tell 'im to piss off," Remus mumbled, feeling his throat close up at the thought of talking to Sirius. "S'James with him?"

Of course, James would be chasing after Sirius. Those two had always been in a galaxy of their own. Even then, Remus couldn't help but feel mildly betrayed. He really did believe that James would be there when he woke up, and yet he wasn't.

It was just another hit to the beating his heart had taken.

Peter blanched.

"Remus..."

No.

"What happened to James? Is he with Sirius or not?" Remus snapped, feeling a sudden surge of anger. He was sick of it. Sick of people treating him like he was fragile, like the news might stop his heart if it wasn't delivered gently enough.

But he had already died when he found out what Sirius had done. He supposed it wouldn't be as bad the second time around.

Peter cracked his knuckles, biting his lip like it would save his life. Clearly, he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, perhaps he'd been bullied into it.

Had it been another day, another circumstance, Remus would've taken pity on him.

"Spit it out, Peter," he growled, feeling his head swim as he forced himself to sit up. Pain shot all the way up his spine, cutting against his side. He clutched his ribs, blinking away the black spot obscuring his vision.