JUNE TENTH

FAMILY??

TORN APART

Torn apart.
I am torn apart;
Right down the centre.

Maturity is sure dawning,
Dawning on me.
I want to be the kid
Held back by  guidance.
   Look,
Here it is.

Freedom.
I crave freedom;
Not as bad as you think though.
Freedom I mean,
Not to be caught in moral deliquencies,
Of course.

Freedom I mean;
To act like one
One who is no longer a baby.
Freedom to be treated
Just the way grown people should be.
Freedom
To be free.

It comes with a price though;
A harsh soothing price.

If i must be free,
Then I'll be free from tutoring,
Parental guidance.
Nooo

See...
I'm torn apart.
Torn between the stiff,
Hard grips of parental guidance
                  and
The soothing hands of teen age;
Welcoming me.
I'm so torn,
Always torn.

Now I'll have to decide;
Decide in pain.
Probably I'll just remain torn;
Bleeding till the end.

                     HURT

I easily get hurt;
When those I call family
Cannot have my back.

Outsiders do not trust,
They hate
And same with family;
It's painful hurting.

          MY BIG BULLY

My big bully,
My mentor,
My father;
What else?

It's all about it now;
Never told you though.
Popman just retired
And guess what?
His bullying is now or never.

When I get to sleep,
Is his decision;
Early to bed, you know.

When I talk,
I go outta the house,
Come back in,
Go out(if I can, durh!),
Play football,
Wash my clothes,
Be on my own,
Social circle,
Video games;
What else?

Come to think of anything a teenager does;
He programmes it.
Even eating?
Yes, he bullies to that extent.

One thing about bullying is
If you potray love for it,
Then it never stops.

I sincerely love his bullying;
It keeps me in check alright.

One more thing,
I love my big bully.

            UNDERSTAND IT BETTER

I'm trying to understand,
Understand it better.

When siblings annoy me
And I try not to lose it;
I try.

When I step on the wrong toes
And I annoy others;
I try to remain calm.

Mummy is getting older;
And she's just well,
I'll still understand.

When I'm bullied,
So bullied;
I'll understand it better.

When I receive great setbacks,
From the family I own;
I pray I understand

Loneliness.
When I'm left alone,
Alone in my world.
I'll understand.

When it's made clear
Clear that I can't own my time;
I weep to understand.

When fake friends surround me
And hurt me,
When sheeps are wolves;
I hope I understand.

When the onomatopoeia
Of my heart is all but
Floods of tears;
I'll try to pray,
Pray to understand.

     FIRST WIFE

First wife, first wife
First wife, first love.

My first wife
My first love
My mother
My friend, maybe.

My first wife,
My defender
Defender from what she deems fit,
Fit to defend.

My first wife,
Always scolding me;
My first wife does that always.

My coach.
I'll never be too good for her,
Her hurdles are always high.

My bully.
She can be a bully too;
Not as the big bully though.

My advocate.
Advocating to the big bully;
Sitting at his right hand,
Making supplications now and then,
Supplications with pleas,
Pleas for the sinner.

      MY THREE WIVES

I own three wives,
I didn't choose to marry;
God gave 'em to me.

My three wives,
Three sisters;
Related by blood and bond.

Three sisters
Three bundles of joy
Three mischievous crime partners.

Three wives
Those I spent time with
Time that was never valued;
I regret it.

Three wives.
Times we didn't stand for all,
When I wasn't a good husband;
I regret too.

Three wives,
Three strangers I have as friends;
Friends that weren't true.
Times are hard.

Those that spelt out
Spelt out my distance from getting any closer.
I appreciate all the same.

If there were times I remembered,
Then I pray to remember
Remember them again.

I still love my sisters,
My three wives.
Now, I still wish;
Wish I had a brother though.

            AH!

I'm tired,
Weak and tear-eyed.
I want to tell all of it,
Keeping back nothing.

I want to be pampered,
To be sought after.

I want to be left alone
Simultaneously;
'Cause fake friends is all I've got here.