Memories || Bucky Barnes

Chapter 10

It's chasing me. I am running. I don't know where I'm going but I am running as fast as I can to get away from it. I don't recognize my surroundings but it's night and the roads are empty. It's quite so I can hear that it's almost catching up.

I turn to every corner and every alley I come across in hopes that it'll lose me. But my feet are tired and I don't know how much longer I can go before they give up.

A loud sound echoes through the empty alley and a sharp pain on my side causes me to fall hard against the concrete. I touch my side and I feel wetness. I look at my hand and my clothes, they're red.

I lift my head and I see it. Him. He lowers his gun and walks to me. I try to crawl away but I can't move much. He knows it and doesn't hurry.

Why can't I heal myself? Why can't I use my powers? What's happening?

Before I could answer, he reaches me and kneels down to my level.

"I'm sorry doll, I hope you understand" he says and puts his hand around my throat

"Bucky, please" I beg him one more time

"Shh, it's ok Emmy" he whispers as he squeezes my neck tighter.

I try to fight him but I can't do much.

"It'll be easier if you relax" he adds almost smiling.

That moment I didn't see just the emotionless Winter Soldier, I saw Bucky.

~

I jump breathing heavily. I touch my neck and I try pull my shirt away from it, as if the thin material is choking me.

"Emmy?" I almost flinch
"Emmy, are you ok?" Bucky asks worried as he rubs his sleepy eyes

"Yeah, yeah, go back to sleep" I answer as I calm down.

He puts his hand on my back and starts rubbing me. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks

I can't tell him. He's still in a very fragile state. He needs help, not blaming.

"Not now"

"Ok" he doesn't push for more details.

He simply continues to rub my back as we both stay sat on the bed. This isn't right...

This isn't right. He shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't be doing this.

I bury my face in my hands and I sigh. "Bucky, what are you doing?" I wonder

"What do you mean?" he asks

"We are playing roommates for a month now, and avoiding to address things. I can't... I start to think that maybe it was a good idea for me to come here"

"Why are you saying that?"

"Every time I look at you I see my Bucky. I see the man I fell in love with, the man I married, the man I thought I lost. I want to jump on you, hug you, kiss you, tell you how much I missed you. But I see the other one. The one who tried to kill me. I understand that you are not in a good place right now, so I put my feelings aside. Obviously, I want you to get better, but I don't know how much longer I can suppress those feelings and fears down, and pretend that everything is fine, Bucky" I explain and tears form in my eyes.