Stories I'd like to tell

LOVE NOWADAYS

“I love you!” He professes.
“You love me?” She asks, wistfully, her voice almost inaudible.
“Yes, I love you.”
“You love me?” She repeats, staring into the eyes she loved.
He says nothing, just stares back at her.
She looks at him intensely, while noting in her head every feature on his face. Her eyes move down to his body, observing how he stood slouched, how his feet shuffled as she scanned him, how his fingers wiggled in a nervous way.
“You love me?” She repeats, again, almost as if she were talking to herself. Her head tilted, ever-so-slightly. Her mind runs with memories of the passed years with him, everything they’ve experienced together flashing so fast that she almost doesn’t catch them, the words they’ve shared deafening her.
She watches him look at her expectantly, most likely waiting for her to say those three words back.
“You love me.” She states, this time her voice is easily heard. “You really love me?”
His forehead creases as his brows furrow in confusion. Watching him, she sees that he doesn’t understand why she keeps asking him that question.
“You don’t love me.” She states, like it was a fact.
“I do love you.” He says, staring at her, his eyes sad.
“Really? Then why do I go to sleep every night with tears in my eyes?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Why do I have to take so many days off of work in a month?” She asks, staring at him with a burning gaze. “Why, do I have to lie so much about being clumsy?”
“Look-”
“No, it’s my turn to speak, you’ll get your chance.” She cuts him off. “Isn’t that what you say to me whenever I try to voice myself?” She asks, a wry smile on her face.
“Listen-”
“No, I’m talking, shut up!” She says, angrily. “I’m tired of being quiet, sitting around and waiting for you to stop what you’ve been doing. I’ve tried so many times to justify what you have been doing… I kept quiet when you yelled at me for no reason, I never asked why you were angry, just let it be. I didn’t utter a word to anyone when you first slapped me across the face. I said nothing when you started rapping me-”
“I didn’t rape you.” He interjected.
“Okay, then what does it mean when I say, I don’t want to have sex with you right now, but instead of listening to me you snatch me up, pull down my pajamas and start groping and putting your penis in me, even though I keep protesting and start crying?” She asks. “Isn’t that what ‘rape’ mean?”
He presses his lips in a thin line, his eyes start looking around, searching if there is anyone who can hear them, even though they are in an empty park.
“I never said a peep when you hit me so hard I broke three ribs. The doctors, nurses, my friends and even my mom asked what happened, but me being the fool said nothing about you. I just kept lying every time someone noticed a bruise or scar on my body or face. I lied every damn time, just for you.”
She was seething with repressed anger, her body was tingling and shaking. She could feel the tears trailing down her cheeks. She has never felt such anger in all her life, but today all she could feel was utter rage, it was blinding.
“How dare you say you love me?” She asked. She looked at his profile that was illuminated by the park lamp next to him, this time his hands were balled tightly into fists. “What, are you angry that I’m finally speaking?”
He stared at her coldly his teeth barred in anger.
“You wanna know something? I am very scared of you, like deathly scared of you.” She said. “All of this that I am saying, I know you will be taking your revenge on me once we get home. I know for fact that right now you can’t wait to have your hands wrapped around my neck, to see my wide teary pleading eyes, and to hear my constant whispered pleas.”
She sees him clench his fists tighter.
“I’m right aren’t I?” She asks, smiling. “I’ve known you for more than fifteen years, and in all those years all you ever served me was pain, sorrow, depression, helplessness, despair, self-hate, self-blame, and many other feelings, but I never felt anger towards you. Today though, you said the most triggering thing I have ever heard you say. You never loved me, and we both know it… we’ve known for a long time.”
“I do love you.” He says, through gritted teeth, most likely trying to convince himself.
“No, no, no. You love bullying me. If you loved me truly, you would never have done any of the things you’ve done to me.” She says, her voice sweet. “Right now, you are waiting for me to stop talking and obediently get in the car parked over there, so we can be behind closed doors. You don’t want the world to know what a monster you are, you want them to see this bullshit persona you put on everyday after you leave me wheezing.”
In her heart she has accepted that she was going to be beat like never before, but she made up her mind that she will go after coughing up all the thoughts she collected over the years.
“I don’t love you. You don’t love me.” She states, matter-of-factly. “I’ve never known what love was, and will probably never know. You are not the only person who is a monster, there are many men who treat women the way you do. They too falsify the meaning of love, convincing themselves that they are gods and can do no wrong, holding onto a weak sense of masculinity. These men are scum and deserve to be staked or burned alive for the things they do not only to grown women, but to little girls.”
“Let’s go home.”
“Wait, in a second, I just want to say a few more things before I forfeit to your brutality. I know I will never be able to confess any of this to anyone either than you, because of how I have grown accustomed to this lifestyle and have placed a psychological block on myself that stops me from uttering a word about my situation. I’ve given up a long time ago, but please never say those three words ever again, because they only show me how weak, and how much of a disappointment I am to woman-kind.” She says, her voice calm and registered, showing that she has really resigned. “Now we can go.”
His hands latched onto her wrist so fast and tight. She lets him drag her like a dog on a leash, her mind is blank of any thought, and she feels lighter that she has belted out the thoughts that have been floating in her mind for so long.