Still inlove with your ghost

Prologue

Prologue

Sabi nila "Be careful on what you wish for, it might come true".

"Pero paano kung gusto kong bumalik sa buhay ko si Knight? Magkakatotoo ba? Babalik ba sya?" I whispered softly—more like wishing it to the countless stars in the skies.

I chuckled at my own thought while looking at the comet passing by or the so-called shooting star across the dark night sky.

'Darn stupid Kia. Malamang hindi na sya babalik. Hindi na babalik si Knight kasi matagal na s'yang patay.'

Napailing na lang ako at saka marahas na pinahid ang luhang tumakas sa aking mga mata. Subalit kahit na anong punas ko rito ay hindi pa rin ito tumitigil sa pag-agos na para bang wala itong katapusan. I cried even more when I realized how much I missed him.

Knight was my late husband who died threee years ago, and until now I was still hoping for him to come back, I am hoping that maybe, it was just a nightmare. I am still hoping for him to be alive in the deepest depth of my heart. That he was just somewhere waiting for me to wake him up.

I heaved a sigh and just focus my thoughts until I fell asleep.

It was not so long until someone stirred into my deep slumber, planting soft kisses all over my face. Those lips that felt so familiar, the tingling sensations that his kisses brought to my senses, it was so familiar that I can't help but open up my eyes only to see the face of the man I have been longing for so long, my husband, Knight.

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nakikita ng mga mata ko. Si Knight nga ba itong nasa harap ko or namamalikmata lang ako dahil sa sobrang pagka-miss ko sa kanya.  Hindi ko magawang magsalita nang dahil sa samut-saring  emosyon na lumukob sa akin. It was so overwhelming that the only thing I did was to cry, to sob while looking at his handsome face with that familiar gentle look in his eyes.

"Shhh baby, stop crying baby. I'm home" he said softly while drying up my tears.

His touch was so gentle that it warmed the coldness of my heart for the past years. However, no matter how warm he made me feel, I felt the coldness in his touch as his fingertips brushed across my face.

"A-Are you, are you for r-real Knight?" I asked him, kahit na alam ko sa utak ko na hindi, na ilusyon ko lang ang Knight na nasa harapan ko ngayon.

But then, he feels so real, him touching my face, wiping my tears with his thumb gently. I can even feel his cold fingers.

'Damn ilang baso ng wine ba ang nainom ko at pakiramdam ko ay lasing na lasing ako. Heto pa nga ako nagha-hallucinate eh' I scolded myself.

But Knight just continue to caress my face softly, gently- as if afraid to break me like I'm a precious crystal.

"I am baby. I am home" he whispered, answering my question earlier.

"Hindi mo na ako iiwan ulit? Hindi ka na ulit aalis? Babalikan mo na ako?" I asked him again in between my sobs.

Alam kong kabaliwan ang mga sinasabi ko pero umaasa ako na kahit isa lamang itong panaginip ay hindi ako iiwan ng asawa ko. Na hindi sya mawawala sa tabi ko. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko, hindi ko mapigil ang kahungkagan sa puso ko na tanging sya lamang ang makaka-puno. Ang espasyo sa puso kong sa kanya lamang nakalaan, kay Knight lang at wala nang iba pa.

"Knight huwag mo na akong iwan ulit please. Ang lungkot-lungkot pag wala ka, huwag mo akong iiwan, 'wag ka nang umalis" I cried, trying not to close my eyes or lower my head.

Nakatitig lang ako sa mukha nya, partikular na sa mga mata nya habang iniiyak ko sa kanya ang lahat na parang isang batang inagawan ng laruan. Natatakot ako na baka pag ginawa ko iyon, na baka kapag kumurap ako ay mawawala na naman sya sa paningin ko. Na bigla na naman syang maglaho na parang bula. At hindi ko na naman sya makikita ulit.

"Hush now baby, nandito na ako, hindi kita iiwan" he replied as he continue to dry my never ending tears with his cold fingers.

His gaze was soft and warm, and his eyes looks so overflowing with love that I am drowning at the depth of those captivating infinite blue eyes. Those eyes that when stared upon, you'll get lost and drown into the beauty of it. It was so beautiful that I wouldn't mind helping myself from drowning. I'll gladly drown with those infinite eyes.

"Mangako ka Knight. Mangako ka sa'kin. Mangako kang hindi mo na ako iiwan ulit please. Please promise me. Mahal na mahal kita Knight, hindi ko kakayanin na mawala ka na naman" I keep on mumbling words for him to promise that he won't leave me again.

I know I am just spouting nonsense kasi alam ko naman na patay na ang asawa ko at malamang ay nananaginip lang ako, pero gusto kong kahit na sa panaginip man lang ay mangako s'yang hindi na nya ako iiwanan. Kahit sa ilusyon ko na lang, kahit hindi na totoo.

"I won't leave you again baby. I promise" he assured me.

My tears won't stop falling from my eyes. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, kung naiiyak ba ako kasi hindi na ako iiwan ng asawa ko kahit sa isang ilusyon lang, kahit sa panaginip lang? O sa katotohanang kahit matagal nang wala ang asawa ko ay mahal na mahal ko pa rin s'ya? Na hindi ko pa rin s'ya kayang bitawan, na kahit sa isang kaluluwa, sa isang ilusyon na gawa-gawa lamang ng aking isipan, sa isang panaginip ay nagmamakaawa akong huwag na huwag n'ya akong iwanan.

"Rest now baby, I know you are tired" he whispered lowly.

I shook my head afraid that I won't be able to see him again when I wake up.

"I promised remember?" he added when he saw the hesitation in my eyes. I nodded.

"Now rest" he said with finality and kissed my forehead making me close my eyes, as if it was a lullaby lulling me to sleep.

'Dàmn I am still inlove with you Knight. Even with your ghost, even in your remains. The feelings were still lingering deep within my soul' I mentally sighed for being hopelessly inlove with him and let the darkness invade my senses.