Some Lonely Feeling ✧ H.S. A.U.

Chapter 8;

The light was so bright, making it far too difficult to get a perfect view of his face, but I somehow did get around to seeing him. It was odd after regaining my senses to find myself sprawled out upon him, "I miss you baby," he laughed, placing his hands in my hair. 

I looked up at him smiling, as I simultaneously leaned up, using his chest as a rest for my hands, "Why'd you leave?" I asked, gently running my index finger down his stomach.

"It was time. I had to," he replied; his expression changing entirely. In his eyes there was a hint of confusion, making me feel as if he believed that it was obvious, and that I should've known. 

"No it wasn't," I stated in a questioning manor, "Nah," I laughed, "You're joking."

I was hoping for a smile, or something in response, but he didn't give one; his expression remained the same as he began speaking, "Listen," he said as he put his hands up onto my shoulders, "You have to move on."

I couldn't quit nodding no. He wasn't serious... Was he? "What are you trying to tell me, Niall?"

"I only have a for more seconds," he replied, almost completely disregarding my  comment - but for some reason I didn't seem to care. I was too busy trying to think of what was going on. Things felt so real, but things felt really empty, in result making it feel so fake. None of it made sense, but I seemed to let it go as I closed my eyes, connecting our lips. I felt his hands run up and down my back, as he tried calming me down, but it didn't work. I couldn't help it; I started to cry, which he noticed immediately, "Don't cry," he said, pushing me up slowly, "Stop crying," he chuckled, wiping a teardrop from the my waterline, "It'll be okay," he smiled reassuringly, pulling me into his chest once more. Why was he so calm? How could he be so calm? He began humming the melody of a up beat happy song as he began rubbing my back once again, "I love you," he whispered, "Tell me you love me."

"I - I love you," I choked. 

Things were silent, but only briefly, "Bye baby," he said serenely as if nothing was happening.

I leaned up preparing to grab him, "Don't go!" I cried, "Please!" I screamed as my heart rate escalated, along with my breathing.

"Just remember, I lov-"

*

I loved waking up on Niall's chest. He was so warm...

I embraced the feeling. I hadn't been this happy in forever; it was as if I had waited for a reward. Suddenly, I realized, Niall's dead.

The disappointing feeling after my realization was like being punched in the face as I sat up. Oh, Harry, "You don't have to get off," he laughed; looking up at me with his green eyes. 

"I... How'd..."

"I don't know," he replied, "I remember being drunk, and only a few other things."

"I remember your girlfriend leaving, and then you taking me in that room..."

"We kissed last night," he interrupted laughing.

"What?" I asked; completely clueless.

"Yeah, I don't know, I vaguely remember it. I'm not sure where we were, but I remember enjoying it," he winked. 

I glared down at his chest, deciding not to respond. Why was his shirt unbuttoned? I pulled it back looking at his tattoos as I thought harder about last night. I do remember watching him fall asleep, but I still couldn't seem to get the connection between that and his shirt. After glancing at the window, and seeing that it was sunny, I crawled off of him, feeling far too guilty to remain in that same spot. 

I sat down on the edge of the bed, "You're girlfriends going to be over to get her stuff, right?"

"Um, yeah," he replied as I felt the bed move, making me assume he sat up, "You want me to go, don't you?"

I turned around to face him, "No, I just don't want you to get into anymore trouble with her."

He looked around the room before getting out from under the covers to approach his shoes, "Yeah, I have a headache anyway," he said. 

"Me too." I walked over towards him as he simply glanced at me while buttoning his shirt. I mumbled something odd as I opened my arms, gesturing him to come closer. He got the hint, thank goodness, as he wrapped himself around me. I leaned my head into his chest, speaking, "I'll call you," I whispered.

He pulled away from me, as he patted his pockets looking for something, "Okay," he replied smiling, "It better be faster this time," he joked.

I did nothing but nod, as he gradually made his way to the living room, and to the door. After hearing it close, I was left alone standing there silent with a migraine. 

I went over to my nightstand, staring at the picture of Niall and I. Picking it up, I took the sleeves of my shirt, wiping off the little bit of dust that had accumulated on it off. I eased a smile onto my face as I sat it back down neatly. I didn't like that dream. I occasionally had dreams like that after his death, but none of them felt like that; none felt that real. 

You have to move on. 

The words wouldn't quit echoing in my head. What did he mean? What did my subconscious mean? What if it had been Niall?

I looked over where Harry had slept last night. What did happen last night? I began to feel deeply guilty. I was afraid I was going to hurt Harry's feelings. I didn't want to love anyone else. 

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I'm sort of ashamed on how short this ended up being, but I'd still love to know what you think! (: