shalena | slowburn| nsfw 18+ (smutwarning)

shane pov 1

i've been gay my whole life. everytime i saw a man i would. but today a new girl moved in across the streets. she was ugly and BI(all she does is charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual, cant cook, mcdonalds, eat hot chip, and LIE). i'm the only lgbt in this indiana town. i need to kill her. grr.

she got out of the moving truck with her medium length ratchet ass hair ugly ass brown eyes and a softball sweatshirt (i HATE softball. as a swimmer, it's a fake sport only for whiny girls). suddenly my mother bursts through my door into my teal room. "hey shaney the new neighbors just arrived we are going to go help them move please come with!" 

"k"

we walked across the street to the moving truck when this ugly ass ratchet bisexual girl yells from inside the moving truck "teagan i hate you!" i walk up behind the truck. "im not teagan slayqueen" "oh my bad you walk like a straight girl" "faggot"

a/n: i am gay i can type the slur

i close the doors of the truck and lock her in. i hear banging from the inside. "you whore!" "yep hunty!" i walk away to the house where a 6'1 man with short blond hair and blue orbs. he's so dreamy. i love dream #dnf. "hey" his deep voice growls at me. "hey pussy vagina queen!" "i'm teagan i love volleyball and me-" he cuts himself off. men????? menstrating???? melatonin??? what did he want to say??? is teagan a maid dress wearing men loving indianan???? he's so hot. just then we hear the screams of elena in the truck, she's running out of oxygen. good. as an alpha male i just simply would not. bit she is weak. teagan runs over and unlocks the doors for her and she jumps out of the truck. "get over here you tiny little blond man!" she yells in my directiojn. i sashay my hips from left to right as i strut towards her. "oh my GOD! hey! i'm shanicus gouldussy! who are you??" i say in my fake nice voice. she's so annoying. her voice is like a cheese grater on my ears when she respondss "you locked me in the truck" "lol no kwqeen i love biseuxal people i would never! sorry queen but that just wasnt me baestie!" i hate bisexual people. 

a/n: im not homophobic

teagan looks in my direction with his orbs. i could get lost in them. he takes out his eye and slips it into my hand. "hey king, anyone that messes with my sister is good enough to join the teagan hook jup club!" i feel my shaft growing. i hear a pop! his eye has grown back., bluer than ever. "teagan stop being a little men loving men fucking men romanticisinzing slut and unpack with me. and YOU" she looks at me with her crusty dusty nasty ass eyes. "fuck you!" :your brother wants to!" suddenly, she runs into the truck and returns with an ak/47! she pulls the trigeer and bullets start flying at me at light speed ,;ucki;y i'm made of jell o so they dont urt me! but itdoesnt matter, teagan has jumped in front of me. his chest and abs are sop strong they are deflecting the bullets. however, wheb the bullets penetrate his chest, it regrows instantly."elena what did i say about shooting people" he grabs the gun from her and pushes her out of the truck. "shane on you" elena runs inside angryily. thso hips do lie. unlike what shakira said. teaganusys pulls me close. "are you okay slut?" "yes teag-" he puts his finger to my lips. "shhh, answer with your actions" he leads me into the truck and closes the door. he takes out his [hone flashlight and lights up the truck. it's still full of boxes but there's enough room for us to lie down.

teagan slowly takes off his shirt revealing a chisseled abs. and a toned chest with large but not too large moobs. im mesmerized. he bends down and slips his warm rough hands under my shirt. "is this okay shanicus?" i nod staring at his eyes, barely visible in the light. he slips off my shirt to reaveal my skinny body with no muscles. in fact, it is made of jello. he runs his hands over my flat stomach and rests on the wasitband of my gray sweatpaints now bulging off mty body. he slips his hand below, eyes closed and wraps around my meat lightsaber. then he starts to [redacted].