Scenarios

004

"What has my life become? What have you become?"

//July 29, 2022  7:30 AM//
I woke up from my alarm and got myself ready for school. Made myself breakfast, showered, and put on my uniform. As I walked out of my apartment I stared at the bright sky.

"Let's make this day different. Make memories for my death."

I've decided that I can't let my life go down the road of darkness. I feel heavy thinking that I'm wasting myself for something I'm not sure of. So, I want to change and give it to myself. I want to be happy.

I usually take the bus but this time I decided to ride the train. I saw a child across me, her mom is busy on a phone call. I can see that the child drew something and is trying to show it to her mom but no avail. She looked at me and I tried to smile. It's my first time smiling this past months.

"I like your drawing, you can be an artist someday" I told the child. She beamed at me and gave me her work, she seems very proud of herself. I took the paper from her and scanned the drawing. It was a drawing of a cute dog.

As I arrived at my classroom I looked around. There are plenty of people hanging around with each other and they look very happy. I do not have any friends and I also did not make any effort to make some because I thought I'm different from them and they wouldn't like me. But..I want to make a difference.

"G-goodmorning" I said to the girl beside me. She seemed surprised that I talked to her. Then again, I never talk unless I need to. "H-hey goodmorning too!" She answered, I was a bit surprised but it felt oddly nice.

Lunch came and I was about to grab my lunchbox and eat at the spot where I usually go when suddenly there were 3 lunchboxes landed on my table. I looked up and it was my classmates, one was the girl I greeted. I was confused because they were smiling at me.

"Hello! Me and my friends want to invite you to come eat with us at the cafeteria. I-if it's okay with you" the girl said. I was very surprised and confused as to why they're suddenly doing this when the girl I greeted earlier spoke. "I just... I've been wanting to make friends with you because you seemed nice but I didn't know how to ask you. I thought it would be okay now since you talked to me but this must be too sudden for you and weird." her voice is getting lower and lower as she was speaking and I barely heard the last sentence. They were looking at me, seemingly shy and I found it adorable and I suddenly felt light.

"I didn't know. Thank you" I said, they seemed confused as to why I said thank you but they also looked glad because they can see that I accepted their offer through the smile I'm giving.

And that's how I started opening up to others and making friends. It was awkward at first, but they were kind and patient to me. I have also realized that no one is "effortlessly happy" because all of us have our own problems in life, it's all about how we handle them.

//4 weeks later//

I am standing right now in front of the place where I opened my eyes to see the world for the first time, took my first steps, and state my first words. Càrdeno Orphanage. The place where many lost children called 'home'.

I went in and the manager plus owner of this orphanage welcomed me as he hugged me tight. He's 70 yet he still hasn't lost his radiant smile. Mr. Morado, the man who took me in and took care of me as if I was his own, the man I considered my father, and the man who welcomed me back.

"How have you been mi amor? Since the day you left this orphanage saying you want to live alone I haven't stopped thinking about you and wondering if you're doing well. Porque no me has contactado? (why haven't you contacted me?)" He said as he held my face gently and looked at me worriedly. He's still the same man, very soft hearted.

I smiled at him. "Perdóname (forgive me). I became very busy with school and how I'd manage my life that I forgot what's truly important. I forgot my purpose in life that's why I came home. Todavía me aceptarás? (will you still accept me?)" I said as tears started to stream my cheeks and he wiped it with his hands. "Of course! Bienvenida a casa hija mía! (welcome home my daughter!)" He said with laughter as he hugged me once again.

Mr. Morado is half Spanish that's why I know that language too, I remember him teaching me after I learned how to read, he truly stood as my father and how could I throw him out my life? I've decided to stay at the orphanage and help him manage this place and the children, also, it would be nice to live in a place full of life and love. I'm not alone anymore.

After a week, I also decided to adopt a dog and let it become the orphanage's pet. Purple will serve as a friend and companion for the children who live here and bring more happiness to this place as well as my heart.

I was sitting at a bench looking at the beautiful sunset reflecting the lake when I hear bells coming closer. I looked at my side and saw my golden retriever running towards me. I smiled.

"Hey there purple. Are you happy? Yes, you are. Look at those innocent eyes and--hahahaha what's that on your mouth? Did you eat Mr. Morado's precious plants again?" I giggled as I pet him and he barked, well I guess that's a yes. "Look at your tail wagging" I kept talking to him and he never became tired wagging his tail. It's making me feel nice to see such a creature become so happy to see me and be with me even though he can't understand me.

The sun has set but the sky still shows a faint blue color, the star and moon are visible now, and it's getting cold. I closed my eyes and felt the breeze, heard the trees swaying and purple's tail hitting the bench, my heart is beating calmly, and my breath is even. I opened them and I smiled to myself as I remembered that one dream I had.

No, it wasn't a nightmare. I look at the stars and thanked God for the reminder that a person's life is too precious to waste. Not because one is working hard doesn't mean they'd achieve happiness. Happiness is not something you have to achieve. I've realized that I was wasting my time worrying about the future I don't even know, because of that I missed the beauty the present holds for me. So I learned, I will live my life how I want to, I will let go of the things that chain me in the darkness, and I will embrace what life offers me.

Then, I won't have regrets until the day I die.

Date: June 24, 2022
Time: 11:40 PM
Idea: Shower thoughts