Red Princess

75. Hope

The pent-up feelings inside me had exploded like a volcano after I met my mother. The way she genuinely smiled at me and called me by my name struck a chord in my heart. I didn't want to leave her side. I wanted to stay together with her.

When I felt a little better, she offered me a glass of water and used a pack of wet tissues to help me clean my face.

"Is it something I can help you with?" She asked, and my heart sank again.

"You heard right... about Sey and me?" Mom had dropped me a lot of texts while I was unconscious. One of them had asked me about Sey, and I felt guilty for not having talked to her about it.

"Honey, are you okay?" The motherly concern in her voice made me feel worse. I was never going to hide anything from her ever again.

"I am fine. It's not what you think. Remember the last time you came to the house?"

She had met Kaidon, and she instantly knew there was something between us. Even before I had realised it myself. A mother's intuition was more powerful than we could fathom.

"You are in love with the other Cross boy, aren't you?"

I nodded, averting my gaze from hers. She placed her forefinger under my chin and raised it again to meet her eyes. "And what, he doesn't love you back? He must be blind."

It was much more complicated than that. How could I tell her in a way that didn't make me sound pathetic? She raised a strong daughter, but I let all that strength and pride fly out of the window the moment I agreed to his ridiculous terms.

Is it really love when you are ashamed of it?

No, I am not ashamed. I was prepared to fight this battle with him. How much longer would he last? He was going to wake up someday and realise he was wrong, and I wanted to be there for him when that happened... If that happened...

I finally gathered the courage to speak to her about it. I picked up the bits and pieces, skipping details or making stuff up regarding the Order and its missions, and painted the story of my unfortunate love for him.

She listened to me without uttering a word. She didn't interrupt me. She didn't judge me. She didn't tell me I was wrong. She just patiently sat there, giving me all the time in the world to tell her how I felt.

When I was finally done, I sheepishly lifted my gaze back up. I didn't know what she was thinking. She definitely didn't pity me. She knew I didn't need that. I just wanted someone to listen. For someone to understand what I was going through. I didn't want anyone telling me to move on either because it wasn't something I could just forget about. It wasn't in my nature. As much as I was suffering, that man was also torturing himself. It was toxic and unhealthy, but if I left him at this moment, he would truly fall apart. I saw what happened to him that day when I was shot. It wasn't just for Alice.

No. I heard him call my name. I was certain he called out to me. It wasn't just his fear of having lost his love. A part of him feared losing me. I just needed to wait until he could recognise it himself.

"Ariel, give me your phone." She asked, and I shot her a confused glance. No scolding? No words of encouragement? She just wanted my phone?

I did as she asked, and she scrolled through my contacts before halting on Kaidon's name. She stared at the contact picture for a few seconds before pulling out her own mobile and dialling his number.

She handed me my phone and then pushed back the chair to move away from me. I was puzzled as to what was going on in her mind. My mother had always been a gentle person, and she hated conflict. Something like this happening to her daughter would be heartbreaking for her. Was she going to beg him? I certainly didn't want her speaking to him on my behalf.