Blood of the Covenant (bxb)

Chapter Seven: Nonsense

I rest my hand on the fence, watching him as he continues to work out. He has no idea I'm out here. He has no idea what I would do for him. He has no idea the awe he inspires in me now.

"Ethan," my dad hisses. I manage to tear my eyes from my beautiful soulmate and look at my father. He's staring at me. "Is this a joke?!"

"No," I whisper numbly, looking back at him again.

"Ethan," my dad hisses again, grabbing my shoulder. "And you're sure it's not Julia? He's too old to be your mate, isn't he?!"

Soulmates are always less than one year apart in age. I struggle to recall when his birthday is. "No, he's..." I trail off, trying to remember. "His birthday is in February. He's eleven months older than me." I can't stop myself from smiling. Tyler. His birthday is soon. What should I get him? Some new weights, maybe? I wonder what size shoe he wears. I know he likes Nikes.

"Please tell me this is a joke," my dad mutters.

It finally sinks into my love-drunk head. My dad is angry.

I look over at him, shocked. "You..." When I see the hard, judgmental look on his face, the dying in the back of my brain begins to spread to the rest of my body. It gets harder to breathe. "I- I didn't pick him!"

"Ethan," my father begins, but I've already shifted. I'm running away from my father and his judgment. Away from Tyler, too, and that hurts in a different sort of way. Now I'm not looking at him, it's harder to ignore the circumstances we are now in.

We. Us. Him and I.

My heart floods with pleasure while the rest of me feels like it's decaying away, like I'm dropping pieces of myself in the forest as I run.

My father tries to mindlink me. I ignore him, cutting him off, not letting myself listen.

I run through a stream and then shake off all of the water, creating a source of my scent that will confuse my dad's nose. I will still smell like me, but hopefully it will take him long enough to pick up my trail that I can be far, far into the mountains.

I whine as I run. I can't stop it. I would be crying, if I were in my human form.

I run and run and run until it feels like the pads of my paws are bleeding. I shift into my human form so I can cry properly, to let out some of this pent-up grief.

I collapse against the trunk of a tree and sob. I slump onto the forest floor, a tree root my stiff pillow, and cry until the evening comes to this mountain town. The sun is setting. I should head home. It's freezing. I'm starving. I have to pee. I need to sleep.

I can't make myself stand up.

This is the worst case scenario. I will be leaving Julia to pursue her brother. I can think of no greater betrayal to the girl who has shown me nothing but love and warmth since we first laid eyes on each other in school. It's worse, even, because she and Tyler barely get along. She thinks he is the epitome of toxic masculinity, always trying to compensate for something. She's envious of him, too. She has told me this. Tyler, who is beautiful without trying. Tyler, who is fit when she is chubby. Tyler, who the boys want to be and the girls want to be with.

Tyler, the asshole.

A fresh wave of grief washes over me when I think of Karmen. She will understand, won't she? That I didn't do this? That I didn't pick him? Or will the girl with a patience the width of a pine needle blame me for ruining her relationship?

A horrible thought strikes me. I might not bother her relationship at all. Tyler could look at me when I tell him our plight and laugh. Call me names. Tell me I'm an idiot. Reject me as he kisses his girlfriend, happy and in love while I am made sick by his absence. I will probably die. Most rejected wolves do.