DAWN

1

The only sound which could be heard was my grandmother’s snoring as she slept right next to me on the uneven floor in the round shaped hut of a bedroom. I was devastated as I was lying next to her wishing I could turn back the hands of time. I could feel my broken heart too heavy for my chest and my emotions were all over the place. If I was not day dreaming, I would be shedding tears that flowed endlessly like two rivers.

This was my first night at Lydiate farm just after Norton at my paternal grandma’s house and just thinking of my future in this place filled me with misery and the fact that I was going to be a teenage mum made it worse, it felt like a death sentence. My father had made it clear that I would stay with my grandma till I gave birth and no matter how much I pleaded with him to reconsider, my cries fell on deaf ears.

My grandma had welcomed me with open arms and although she was disappointed in me, she assured me that everything was going to be okay.

But how was it going to be okay when my heart had broken in to a million pieces. When Ian had shamed me and left me at the mercy of my father. How could he have rejected me and said he wasn’t the father of my unborn baby. How could he have forgotten so easily the love we had shared? How could he not remember the way we held each other’s arms, the way we talked and the way we laughed? It felt so good to find love and I thought he was the one. How could he have forgotten all the promises of our wedding one day, our babies, and our house?

I never thought I would end up getting pregnant…I was sorry it happened. Barely 10 minutes of experimenting changed my life and turned my world upside down....i mean curiosity really did kill this cat.

It was my grade seven year and I had just turned 13. I was supposed to be starting my high school the following year but here I was 3 months pregnant with the only good part being I had managed to write the final exams, God knew what results were in store for me.

The whole night I kept tossing and turning and failed to sleep somehow. It was impossible with my escapade. Here I was stuck with my grandma and Ian was still with his parents, still at his house and still going to High School. The unfairness in it all made me angry but I was helpless. I had done everything in my power to change my dad’s mind but it was to no avail. This was what it was and, no matter how much I hated it I had to face the music.

As my mind was reeling and making me anxious, I felt an urge to pee which I did so frequently now with this pregnancy. In the dark hut, without my phone to make use of the torch, I had no choice but to wake my grandma up so I could go to the toilet.

“Gogo (grandma)….gogo….gogo,” I whispered as I shook her by the shoulder.

“Mmmmh,” she answered sleepily, “Chii, what happened?” she whispered irritated.

“I want to pee,” I whispered softly and I heard her let out a laugh.

“For goodness sake did you wake me up because you want to pee….child do you know your late grandpa had shown up in my dream and he was about to tell me something really sweet and here you are, waking me up because you want to pee?” she said irritated.

“I’m sorry gogo (grandma) but I can’t see and I’m scared to go outside by myself,” I cried.

“Haaa Maki, you could have used my phone right here, under my pillow, and there is no need for you to go outside, see, use the bucket right by the door there, pee in there, that’s our night toilet here, okay?” she said as she turned and covered her head with the only blanket we shared and in spite of everything, I found myself smiling as I crawled to the bucket then and felt so relieved after I peed.