Crimes for the Season: a Criminal's Compendium

Introduction

Whether you are a wanted criminal or a beginner pickpocket, you should know the golden rule of villainy: If you do it, do it with style.

Take Madclad Bootshines, for example. Dangling from a rope made from live trained vipers, Madclad was so bedazzled that the police were blinded from his light. Not many criminals could pull off such a smooth stunt while wearing a bodysuit made entirely of broken mirrors. It was a sight to behold; the hissing of the vipers! The twinkling of the glass! The sirens! The drama!

Unfortunately, one of Madclad's trained vipers missed one too many rope-forming rehearsals. It accidentally knitted when it should have knotted, sending the entire ensemble crashing to the ground. Madclad Bootshines failed to retrieve the Emperor Ruby, because Madclad did not survive the incident. They say even the starstruck policemen wept over his ritzy remains.

Some would say he failed, but in his failure to capture the diamond, Madclad Bootshines captured all our hearts.

That is what crime is all about. We should all strive to be more like Madclad Bootshines.

Congratulations! You have already taken your first step to upping your crime game. This guide- that you have no doubt stolen from the convenient store or found pirated on the internet- will help you in your journey to becoming the best and most stylish villain that you can be.