Chapter Forty-Seven

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"What about this one?" Benedict held up a book, looking over to Madeleine

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"What about this one?" Benedict held up a book, looking over to Madeleine. She took it from him and read the back before nodding. 

"Definitely this one." She smiled and placed it in the basket as they headed to the front to pay. He kept his hand protectively on the small of her back as he handed the women the necessary change.

"Where to now?" He smiled down at her as they walked through the market.

"Oh Benny, look! This would look wonderful on you." She pointed to a cravat that was hanging in one of the windows, a dark forest green intricately designed with flowers and leaves.

"Hm, I do quite like that." He winked and guided her into the store. She found another one she liked, showing it to him before placing it in their basket and wandering off to another section.

-

The two finally arrived home with about eleven bags in the carriage, both absolutely spent from the day spent in town. Benedict exhaled dramatically as he collapsed on the sofa, relishing in the chance to put his feet up. Madeleine laughed at the boy before going into the kitchen to get dinner started.

"Hey, where you are going?" Benedict called out, a small pout on his lips. She giggled and shook her head. 

"Just to the kitchen, you are hungry aren't you?" She raised an eyebrow, filling a pot with some water.

He groaned and stood up, following her to the kitchen and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder.

"It is going to be quite difficult to cook dinner like this." She chuckled, wrapping her arms around his and leaning into his touch. He smirked and placed a gentle kiss on her jawline.

"Dinner can wait." He placed his fingers under her chin, moving her head to the side and placing a kiss on her lips. She giggled softly against his lips and turned to face him, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his neck. She pulled away after a few moments, pecking his lips quickly before turning back around.

"Go sit down and rest, my love. I will be done in just a moment." She smiled at him and continued to cook. He kissed her cheek before returning to the living room and sitting down to unpack their bags.

Madeleine added the pasta to the pot, stirring every few moments. She smiled softly as a bird landed outside on the windowsill, watching it for a few moments before it flew away. She looked back down at the pasta and continued to stir before freezing in place.

She slowly lifted her head again and stared out the window at the laundry hanging on the clothesline to dry. She turned around to the island and picked up the calendar, staring at it with narrowed eyebrows.

She was certain her heart stopped beating as she stared at the calendar, unable to properly catch her breath.

"Hey love, why don't we go out to the lake this week? It might be nice to have a day outside." Benedict called out from the other room.

Madeleine did not even process what he said as she remained frozen in place, staring at the calendar. She had missed her courses again. Her eyebrows narrowed in confusion, she hadn't even realized that she was supposed to have them the week before. She swore she would keep track of it for this purpose but with everything going on, it must have slipped her mind.

"Mads? Did you hear me?" He called out again, putting the paints they had bought inside of his box.

Madeleine's heart pounded as she thought about what this meant. She was utterly unsure of how to feel. She and Benedict had been absolutely heartbroken when they miscarried and all they had wanted is another chance.  She felt elated that this was their chance, but she was also crippled by a deep fear in her chest. Her body had not been able to keep the first baby alive, what if she failed again?

"Mads?" Benedict slowly walked into the room, watching her with concerned eyes. "Is everything quite well?"

She looked over at him, tears in her eyes that she did not even notice were there. Benedict's eyebrows narrowed as he walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Madeleine, what is it? Are you all right? Are you hurt?" His gaze darted back and forth between her eyes, worry written across his face.

"I think.. I-I think I'm pregnant, Benedict." Her voice was a whisper coated in fear as she stared up at him. His face softened, the realization hitting him.

"Oh my, um, well this is a good thing, yes?" He stared at her, lips parted in apprehension. He felt the exact same way she did.

"Yes, it is. At least I think it is." She looked up at him, worry in her eyes. They were both silent, neither one knowing what to say, before she spoke again.

"What if it happens again?" A single tear rolled down her cheek as she said it, fear creeping into her chest. Benedict shook his head and pulled her into his arms, resting his head on top of hers.

"It won't happen again. Do not think like that, Mads. This is a good thing. This is our second chance." He whispered, trying to reassure himself of that fact as much as her.

He knew she was right, though. There was a chance it would happen again, and he was not sure if they could survive another heartbreak. They had barely made it through the first.

"We will not tell anybody this time, all right? That way if it does happen again, which I do not think it will, we will not have to answer to so many people about it." He whispered against her hair and she nodded in agreement.

"Oh god, I hope it works out this time." She mumbled desperately into his chest, holding on to him tighter.

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