Hoarders, fish cakes and tree pod twats

Can't you see I'm legally blind?

Gil's POV:
If I were going to be honest, I felt kinda bad for myself.

Then again, it's not like I could actually feel anything what with the whole being dead thing I have going on right now.

'I think I could have died a better death, or at least something less humiliating than tripping on a Lego Death Star and getting my eye impaled by a prop that I stole from my old school play... Yeah, maybe I should have put both on a shelf.'

Anyway, after floating around in the void for who knows how the fuck long, I did what any sane dead person would do and think about how my life had gone up to this point.

'So, let's review all the important shit that happened:
-I'm born somewhere in a tropical country and lived in a condominium.
-I stay a retarded baby for about 2 years and then decided I had enough of being a literal glue eater and learnt how to walk and talk when I turned 3.
-I went to the beach on the other end of the street for the first time when they were 5 and looked for shiny stuff to take home.
-My collection starts.
-What do you do when you find your 6 year old child sitting in the sand alone, playing with a rusty syringe and they just so happen to get a cut?
-One tetanus shot, a week long recovery and three thousand dollars in medical expenses later and I turn out fine.
-I still went to the beach.
-My collection grew to cupboard size.
-Mom found the collection
-She tol......?
-The collectio.......
-uhhhhhh.........'

Well shit, I guess being dead really does fuck with my ability to remember things. Eh, not like that's gonna be too important anyway.

After a bit more time of non-existence I got bored again and decided to think about my old Naruto manga collection cus why not?

'I liked the fourth Shinobi war arc a lot, madara vs the kage was the ultimate flex don't @ me and Might guy with the eighth gate was the shit.
They did Sooooooo many people dirty though like: tenten had more screen time in a spin off series than in the actual manga, Lee was basically just a worse version of Guy, Neji died to a fucking twig and I'm pretty sure that basically anyone that wasn't the fish cake, Edgelord mcsharingan, the one eyed sexyman, a kage or an antagonist was kinda dog water in terms of power.
Although if I'm being honest I thought that Sakura was legit powerful but she looked weak cus she was being paired up with the reincarnations of the grandsons of the person who literally created chakra.
Now that I think about it, the Naruto universe is an actual fucking death trap;the amount of shit that could go wrong on even a goddamn C rank mission alone makes this shit not worth considering.
Combine that with the fact that there are people out there who could kill you in an instant roaming about alongside tailed beasts and the reincarnations of ninja Jesus and you've got yourself a shit show. But hey, at least I'm not living there :D.'

After finishing my little rant I start to notice something bright, something erratic, something fragile... I didn't know what it was nor did I give a shit;after all, being stuck in the void for nobody knows how long made me rather lonely. So I grabbed it and it shattered, and then the void became a lot more colorful than I remembered .

'Oh shit, was that supposed to happen? Wait what the fu-AAAAAAAAHHHHHH'

Turns out something had answered my question for me as a giant fuck-ass tear in the void had formed from what looked like the shattered remains of the orb. Then, a bunch of hands shot out, straight up command grabbed my ass and pulled me into the tear while I was busy mentally screaming.