the opportunity that was hard to come by | a chilumi fanfiction

[5] inside the mind of a harbinger

When Childe came back home, life went back to the bizarre and decidedly abnormal normal that Lumine had gotten used to. She never worked up the courage to confess her feelings to him, and he continued to treat her the same way that he always had.

Three months into their relationship, Lumine organized a benefit at her place of employment in partnership with a charity organization that focused on shogunate samurais and their post-war health. She was able to invite her circle of friends to the benefit, and they all showed up to support her, including Childe.

He showed up in a black suit and black tie, hair slicked back on his head and all smiles when he gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek to congratulate her for her stellar work. He also told her that she was beautiful in her dark blue silk evening gown and matching jewelry that was actually on loan from Yanfei, and she beamed at him as she thanked him, feeling like she was on top of the world. He looked so very proud of her, and she was proud of herself as well.

The event went off without a hitch, and a staggering amount of money was raised for vets that might. Lumine didn't think that anything could possibly ruin her night, but as always, she could count on the universe to never fail to prove her wrong.

She happened to be walking past the bar when she caught a glimpse of Childe striking up a conversation with a blue-head in a white cocktail dress. From the looks of things, he had even bought her a drink, and they were sharing a laugh when Lumine walked by.

She knew the girl. Her name was Ganyu and she worked alongside Xiao with the Adepti Corporation. She was nice and very pretty. Nobody ever had a bad word to say about her, and that made it even worse because Lumine couldn't even properly hate her or selfishly warn Childe to keep his distance.

Lumine realized she was staring when Ganyu said something that made Childe really laugh, the sort of laugh where he wrinkled his nose a little and closed his eyes, and it hurt because that was one of his most genuine ones.

She forced herself to turn and walk away, doing her best to ignore the sensation of what felt like a dull knife jamming straight into her heart. The pain pulsed with every step she took, jealousy and anger and sadness making her want to cry in the middle of what was supposed to be one of her best days.

I can't do this anymore, she thought to herself, and she made up her mind - she was finally going to have that talk with Childe later that night. She was going to lay all of her cards on the table because she couldn't put herself through this anymore, and she couldn't bear to lose him to some girl that he met at her own benefit. In fact, she couldn't bear to lose him to anyone.

But later, however, when the party was over and Childe found her again, asking her if she wanted him to escort her home, she realized how severely she had overreacted to the whole thing. After some casual questioning, he told her that yeah, he'd had a drink with Ganyu but that had been the extent of it. She'd seemed to like him but he wasn't particularly interested in her, so they parted ways with polite goodbyes and not even phone numbers exchanged, and that had been it.

She was both instantly relieved and instantly | disappointed, because she lost her nerve for "the talk" the minute the words left his mouth. She simply smiled and then made a bit more small talk before accepting his offer to take her home, all the while mentally punching herself in the face. She was, as always, her own worst enemy.

Childe took her home that night and almost made her forget what she had been so upset about in the first place. She could not, however, shake the sense of an inevitable and miserable separation looming somewhere in the future. She knew that it would happen, and yet instead, of doing something about it or voicing even a fraction of the thoughts swirling through her 'head, she closed her eyes and imagined that when he held her close and moaned roughly and loudly against her ear as he fell apart, that maybe, just maybe, deep down, he felt at least something of what she felt for him.