You're my Sunshine, my only Sunshine

Epilogue 1.2 : Somi

Why should it be her?

That night, I fell asleep with my confused thoughts.

In the future, I still went to C University, still ate with them, but I no longer felt that kind of confidence as before.

Gradually, I realized that even if Jungkook did not like me, I also did not want to be his little sister.

Thus about a month later, I asked Lalisa to meet up.

I sat in KFC to mentally prepare myself.

Lalisa carried a small backpack, walking pass outside the window. She saw me and waved at me, separated by the window and briskly pushed the door to enter the fast-food outlet.

She seemed to be in a very good mood. I’ve already noticed earlier that when her mood was good, she walked with a slight bounce.

After the business faculty moved to this campus, my first time to C University, she was the one who came to meet up with me. At that time, I was standing in front of the university waiting for Jungkook. But from a distant, I saw her walking briskly with a slight bounce on University C’s boulevard, the sunshine illuminating through the lush leaves onto her body, the whole person seemed to have blended with the sunshine.

“Hello, Somi! Jungkook has to attend a meeting so he sent me to pick you up.” At that time, she walked up to me and smilingly said to me. Now, she was also using the same brisk pace to walk up to me: “Somi, you’re here so early.”
She sat down opposite me: “What are we eating? I have coupons.” She took out a stack of coupons from the bag and spread them out on the table to study them.

“Whatever.”

“I’ll help you to order the children’s set meal, then give the toy to Jungkook to play.” She said with a serious face.

I knew she was joking, but I couldn’t even laugh a little. I almost hated her relaxed attitude, which was in stark contrast to my current nervousness.

She went to queue up, whereas I was left to guard our seats.

The queue was a little long, and she was nearly at the end of the queue. She stretched out her head and jumped up to look at the sign in front. Hence, she did not pay attention to the person beside her and accidentally knocked over a guy’s Coke. Then, a burst of chaos.

I was thinking if Jungkook was here, he’ll certainly frown, then step forward to help her clean up the mess.

Such a girl, what could she help Jungkook? She and Jungkook were simply from two different worlds. She was all glitter but knew nothing at all and basically could not enter Jungkook’s inner world. Jungkook needed someone who can assist him and take care of him, not a girlfriend like this who always needed him to look out and take care of her.

She carried the meal tray back to the seats. The hem of her right sleeve was soaked in Coke, but she didn’t mind, looked guiltily at me and said: “Somi, please don’t tell Jungkook that I’ve done something bad again.”

I nodded and absentmindedly ate a few French fries.

“Lalisa.” I called her.

She was sipping Coke. When she heard me, she raised her head and looked at me with her jet-black eyes.

I avoided her gaze and quickly said: “Jungkook and I are not brother and sister. Before, both of our families were very good neighbors. We all have the surname Jeon so the adults just chose similar names. Later, Jungkook’s father and mother had an accident so our family adopted Jungkook.”

I finished saying in one breath. She was still sipping Coke and foolishly stared at me with no reaction.

Suddenly, I felt irritated and said with emphasis: “Don’t you understand? We are not really brother and sister as we are not related by blood at all.”
“Somi, are you joking? ” She finally responded, but this kind of reply made me angry.

“Jungkook has never said ……” She was obviously at a loss.

“It’s our family’s issue so why would Jungkook need to tell you? Did Jungkook tell you anything important before?” Seeing her sudden pale face, I knew I’ve spoken about her weak point. Sometimes, when I observed their interaction with each other, they didn’t seem like a couple but a bit like an adult taking care of a child. Thus, will an adult say anything important to a child?

Later, in the business world, someone assessed me as such: “Somi, you are the typical case of one can’t judge a book by its cover. You appear gentle and soft, as if very easy to bully. In fact, you are the trickiest, good at hitting a person’s weakest point and backing them into a corner.”

I smile while listening, occasionally recalling the first time I displayed this skill. It was on an afternoon like this on my good friend, a girl who actually had no confident in her own love affair.

Actually at that time, who had confidence in their love affair? Jungkook and Lalisa’s classmates and friends, including me, also felt they were rather unsuitable and will break up sooner or later.

At that time, Jungkook was probably the only one who felt they will always be together.

He made a mistake in being too confident.

I looked at an obviously confused Lalisa and dropped a second bomb. “Today, I want to tell you, I love Jungkook. I do not want to secretly love him. I want to compete openly with you.”

Taking advantage of the aftershocks, in the end I said softly: “Lalisa, you think you can compete and win over the two decades of deep affection between Jungkook and me?”

After saying this, I got up and left. For a split second when I pushed open the door, to my surprise, all I could think of was that the food she had bought was not eaten and whether she still had the mood to eat.

For the next few days, I stayed in my own university and did not go to C University.

Thinking carefully about it, I was actually very weak, perhaps even despicable. I dared not stand in front of Jungkook to confess my feeling directly so I went to look for Lalisa for a showdown, wanting to use her to tell Jungkook.
Did you know that I’ve never treated you as a brother?

How would Jungkook answer her?

I constantly imagined Jungkook’s answer, feeling trapped in a kind of despair but on the same token, full of hope. After a week, there were still no news of them, my mind became flustered.

I picked up the phone over and over again but did not know who to call. Lalisa? Could what happened to us last time be considered a falling out? What about Jungkook?

The long period of time made me felt I ‘ve already been abandoned and forgotten by them. Two days later, I finally could not bear it and went to C University to find out that merely a few days had gone, but the matter was already turned upside down.

Lalisa was gone.

It was said that she went to the United States.

In the next few years, I could slowly feel the impact of Lalisa leaving Jungkook. At that time, I was even under the impression that the impact was weak because Jungkook’s behavior can be considered calm.