advice . jeongchan

six

a blur.

that's all jeongin could describe it as. a blur. it all went by so fast. it had now been weeks since the conversation with chan and everything was different. he had been living on spur of the moment decisions that led to his childhood home now belonging to another and living with a man he met only a few months ago.

but everything felt so much better.

he was no longer lonely and waking up to sinking feelings. he woke up now to the smell of eggs and a calm stream of light through windows and birds chirping and a new sense of hope. he looked forward to more days now.

after nights of sitting on the couch with chan and sharing thoughts and feelings, jeongin felt like a new person. he thought long and hard on his own on how everything now was. and maybe it was for the better.

he still missed his mother dearly, but everything else started to turn up. his father was paying for all the abuse jeongin and his mother felt. his mother was in a better place. jeongin was in a better place. meeting chan was finding a light for jeongin. he looked to the other as a character of comfort.

it was a saturday morning and jeongin was now waking from his sleep. his arms and legs stretched out, kicking a stuffed penguin onto the floor, which was a little gift from chan as a warm welcome to being his roommate. he let out a yawn and sat up, bending down to grab the animal. he smiled sleepily and hugged the penguin to his chest, "good morning mr. penguin."

"good morning back to you."

jeongin's eyes shot open at the voice but softened at the person it belonged to, "morning chan." the older gave a slight, playful pout, "where's the 'good' to that 'morning'?"

jeongin chuckled, "good morning, chan."

the older smiled while leaning against the doorframe, "pancakes are on the table when you're ready to eat."

"thank you sir."

chan nodded and walked out of sight, leaving jeongin to himself. he plopped back, squeezing the penguin in a tight hug, wishing it was a certain guy instead. over the course of his stay, he couldn't help but gain an admiration for the older. he was just so nice to the younger and made him feel so special with how well he treated him. he'd give anything for just one hug. but that would be weird to ask for in his eyes.

they were just roommates.

jeongin placed his penguin beside him, now a bit sad. he stood and walked into the kitchen, where chan was already sat on his phone. his food sat in front of him, untouched. jeongin pulled a chair out, "you could've started." the older waved him off and then placed his phone down, "i wanted to wait, don't worry."

jeongin's face gained a small pink at the words and he lowered his head to hide it, quickly picking his utensils up with a hum. chan let out the quietest laugh, almost too small for jeongin to hear. but he did and that made him even more flustered, yet he tried to shake it off and just enjoy the food.

chan looked at jeongin's reaction as he ate, satisfied when jeongin seemed to enjoy it, "how did you sleep, innie?

innie. the nickname gave jeongin butterflies every time he heard it. it didn't help that the older said it with so much sweetness. it would make anyone's heart skip a beat.

"i slept pretty good," jeongin said as he continued to eat. "no nightmares?" jeongin looked to chan with a smile, "no nightmares."

chan smiled brightly at this, "good."

when jeongin first started living in the apartment, he had constant nightmares. it messed his sleep up a lot and even interfered with chan's. but the older held so much patience and would stay up with him, making him hot chocolate or giving him snacks—anything to make him feel comfortable. often times they would sit on the balcony with blankets and watch the stars together. it was calming for them both and helped their insomnia majorly.

"want to go out today?" chan asked as he finished the last of his meal.

jeongin's head perked at the words as he pushed around bits of pancake in the syrup, "where to?"

the older shrugged, "i'm not sure... just.. with you." he looked up and gave a soft smile. the action brought about a whirlwind of emotions to jeongin and he dropped his fork. he blinked quickly, trying to get rid of the red across his face. he stood with his plate, "yeah... sounds fun."

he walked to the sink and let out a flustered sigh. why was chan so extremely charming? jeongin lacked social skills tremendously, but the way chan looked at him showed more than just friendly thoughts. he couldn't help but see a bit more behind those warm brown eyes. he couldn't help but wish for more.

chan, on the other hand, watched jeongin from the table—a bright smile worn on his face and admiration floating in his eyes.

—

june 6, 2022.
happy pride month everyone! i've been so busy with work and giving my lover 100% of my attention. our 1 year was the first <3