DELICATE | Hyunjin Centric

ELEVEN

"You don't want to hurt me. But see how deep the bullet lies"

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"DO YOU WANT TO DIE?" Her voice screeched, familiar to their old school days of the chalk on the board. The sound making his ears ring a bit and his teeth clash. His head pounding as he oddly struggled to make sense of what was exactly happening.

"I'm sorry?" He asked, shaking his head as he felt the top of his blanket fall to reveal his upper body. Dark strands messy on top his head, his migraine feeling like he had been drinking until the late hours of the morning though he knew that couldn't be possible.

"I messaged you over 12 hours ago, you opened my message and didn't bother responding. Jin do you know how little I slept, barely even an hour because I was stressed about you, I tried to call your roommate but he didn't answer either until just before!" She told him, desperation clinging to her voice as he felt guilt rise like bile in his throat.

"Oh god, I'm so so sorry Seoyun, I didn't think last night. I had another panic attack and I—I forgot to message you back. God I'm sorry my brain is just.. not working" he told her, eyebrows pressed together as he mentally scolded himself. "I can't believe they are back, fuck!" He muttered annoyed.

He heard her sigh, moments followed with complete silence leaving him nervous. Everything was happening so quick and harsh, it was extremely overwhelming. Jeongin... his eyes widened as he remembered the younger helping him last night. I'm such a shitty friend, I didn't even think about thanking him yet.

"I'm sorry, for not thinking and snapping at you" Seoyun whispered through the phone, making the edges of Hyunjins lips raise.

"Don't be, I understand completely where you were coming from" he told her. Laying back down on his bed as he stared at his ceiling. Phone pressed to his ear as this time the quiet moments that followed were peaceful rather then anxious. "Seoyun?" He asked out. Hearing his friend hum to show she was indeed listening. "Aren't you tired— of dealing with all my issues that is. My life is a fucking joke" he stated, lips pursed together as Seoyun raised an eyebrow.

No... though truthfully she hadn't even thought about how she had felt after dealing with it all once more. But she wasn't tired, if anything she was worried for Hyunjin. He was the closest person she had in the world. She would never try to lie and sugar coat their situation, his issues definitely became part of hers and yes, some days felt tougher then others. But— she couldn't comprehend being tired of his issues.

Seoyun still would never give up on trying to help Hyunjin, because he was her main support. Nothing could ever make her tired of his issues let alone him.

"I mean.. a little bit, but we always manage to make do. Even if god is really out to get you. I swear you must've killed a village in your last life to have such shit luck" She joked lightly. Her fingers subconsciously playing with the Band-Aid on her finger.

"Shut up"

"Never"

-

"Panic attack?" A calm voice asked as Jeongin hummed, leaning against his bedroom door before lifting himself off and onto his bed. Heart anxious as he sighed. "I do have some awareness as I've said before, but I've never seen one of his panic attacks so it's hard to say, anxiety itself effects the individual differently then it might others. You know yourself how true that is" he told him, his dark hair brushing against his screen as he gently placed down the paint brush, exhaling in thought.

"M—Mute" Jeongin stuttered. "W—When it happened h—he couldn't speak almost" he stated. Remembering the distraught face of the older was astonishing, he hadn't dealt with someone else's anxiety before but his own.