second thought

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there is so much love inside this house
it radiates through the walls
yet my feet are cold
my hands don't know where to hide
a bright smile covers the hurt
painted eyes covering up the dirt
the leftovers inside this body
the stains upon my soul
i close my eyes and smile grateful for what i have
yet i can't understand
why the second thought is always you
who turns a smile into agony
who turns the warmth into cold
uneasy it feels
shivers rolling up and down my core
again and again
a million times over
hiding my mouth
as with every breath it whispers your name
hiding my body underneath the rain
as with every breeze it feels your untouched skin
hiding my heart
which eventhough a lifetime passed,
keeps on desiring yours
and i can't keep myself from wondering
if i set this world on fire
with both the anger as the hurt
would you have heard my voice scream from somewhere within
would you have seen me then
would you have held me as i fell or kissed the pain away
would this broken body feel like mine again

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