The Memoirs of Psalmanazar

Preface

As the design of my leaving the following memoirs, is at once to undeceive the world with respect to that vile and romantic account I formerly gave of myself, and of the island of Formosa, and to make all the amends in my power for that shameful imposition on the public, by leaving behind me this faithful narrative of myself, and of the remarkable accidents of my wretched life that led me to it, as well as of those that deterred me from persisting in it; it will not be improper here to premise some of the chief motives that determined me to write the following sheets, to be printed after my death.

The religious education I had happily received during my tender years, had made so strong an impression upon my mind, that, though it did not prove sufficient to preserve me from being unwarily and gradually hurried, by my own strong passion, into that scandalous piece of forgery; yet it never failed of making me condemn myself, in my more serious hours, for every step I took towards it; but more particularly for the last and most vile scene of all, my pretended conversion from Heathenism to Christianity, and the abominable means I was forced to use in order for it to gain credit in the world, so that I laboured ever after under frequent and bitter remorse s and stings of conscience, at the reflection of the great load of guilt into which I had suffered my youthful and unthinking vanity to hurry me.

And so much the more deep was my sense of it, as I found my unhappy condition become so very difficult, and in some measure desperate, feeling nothing could effectually extricate me from it but a public acknowledgment of one of vilest and most odious impostures that youth and rashness could be guilty of, which I could not possibly have made, without exposing myself to shame and danger, and my friends to the deepest mortification and displeasure, and turning their underserved care and concern for me into the justest abhorrence and detestation of me.

Under these pungent reflections, which were, however, but too often smothered by various carnal considerations, and the violent hurry of my passions, I was not without some hopes that the same divine goodness, which had not suffered me to harden into an utter insensibility of my guilt, might, in his own good time, enable me to surmount all the dreadful difficulties which my carnal mind laid in my way, and finish that good work which my remorse gave me cause to hope was begun by his undeserved grace in me. I was not, however, without some apprehensions from a sense of my extreme guilt, lest that, which I cherished under the notion of hope, should prove only a vain and ill-grounded presumption, at least I began to fear I had reason to think it so, whilst I continued inactive, and depended merely on a few faint wishes and prayers, instead of making some strong resolutions and efforts, which might assure me of the divine grace co-operating with them.

In this fluctuating and wretched uncertainty I continued some years, not knowing which way to begin or go about the arduous and dreaded task, when a grievous and lingering fit of illness did, in some measure, hurry me to it, and made me determine immediately to set pen to paper, and employ all the time my distemper would allow me, to undo as much as was in my power all the mischief I had done, by leaving behind me a faithful account of everything I could recollect, and that had been instrumental to so fatal and long a train of miscarriages, in order to set the whole imposture in so true a light, that no part of the shame may fall on the guiltless, but on the guilty; and that is chiefly on myself.

I set about it accordingly, and if I did not begin so necessary and laudable a work, till driven as it were to it by pain and sickness, by the fear ofdeath, and of the divine displeasure, I hope it will be so far from lessening the credit of the following narrative, that it will rather add weight to it, seeing no time or circumstances can be more apt to inspire a man with the deepest seriousness and sincerity, than those I was in, when I wrote the most considerable and mortifying part of it.

I shall therefore only add, that my distemper was a lingering every-other-day ague, which lasted me about six weeks, and that being then in a sweet place of retirement in the country, at a very good friend's house, and taken sufficient care of in all other respects, I had all the time and opportunity I could wish for, joined with the properest disposition of mind for such a task, so that through God's blessing I was enabled to bring down the shameful account of my former unfortunate life through the most shocking and impious scenes of it, to my arrival into England without any interruption, and I hope in God with that sincerity and seriousness as such a relation could require and my bad state of health could inspire me with, still taking care before all things to implore the divine assistance of the great searcher of all hearts every time I sat down to write, that he would direct me to go through the arduous task with such a due regard to truth, whatever shame reflected on me, as might in all respects redound to his glory, and entitle me to his pardon and mercy; and to him I give all the praise, for having enabled me not only to go on so far with the wished for work during my retreat there, but to resume it since at proper times, till I had brought it to the desired conclusion.