Bitter Love (Reagan- Sisters: Book 1)

Three// Piper

Stepping out of the airport doors just as the November cool air hits me. I never thought I would be back in New-York city so soon, when I left three years, I swore it would be ten more years before I returned.

But here I am, I haven't told my parents or my sisters that I was coming back home, I guess I just didn't want to deal with all the questions yet.

And you can also imagine that Ethan wasn't too excited about my plan either. Which I understand I mean if the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't like him meeting up with his wife/ Ex in a different state.

I had to explain to him why I had to come, why I had to face Zane. I think I've known from the start, when those first papers were ripped up that I would have a battle on my hands with Zane, if I wanted my marriage to be over.

I know this because I know him, I know every side there is to that man.

The family side.

The business side.

The bitter side.

The Spiteful side and the ruthless side.

I know that man better than I know anyone else and I hate that I do.

Zane wants control and he thinks he has it every time he doesn't sign the papers. My control was always sending them back to him every six months, while not playing into his game. And for a long time, I didn't fight harder for the divorce because I knew that it would be a battle and it would mean seeing him again.

I wasn't ready for that, truth be told I was scared that if I saw Zane again, I would break, that fear I still carry with me even now.

Once everything happened with him, I was a wreck more then I care to ever admit and I wasn't in a good place, emotionally, mentally, or physically.

And for a long time I was lost, but I slowly started to rebuild myself and my life, one without him in it and realised that I needed to focus on me.

But it's all changed now that Ethan is in my life, it changed the moment he asked me to be his wife.

If I want a life with Ethan, I need Zane out of my life for good, I need to not be tied to him in anywhere, which right now I still am, for my work and my business I use my maiden name Reagan, but legally on my passport and my driver's licence I'm a Halstead. In the eyes of the law and the world he's my husband and I'm his wife and I need that to be over.

This is going to be the hardest thing that I've had to do in three years. Facing the husband who broke my heart, my spirit, he destroyed me, and I hate that I let him, I hate that I let him have so much power over me.

But when I think about it, it's no wonder he had so much power, he has been in my life since we were children, we grew up together, we had a friendship so strong that it blossomed into something so much more. 

A different kind of love, a consuming love, a powerful love and when you have that with someone, who was your first in so many ways and who was literally the other half of your soul, it's hard to just get over it and move past it, to act like that person meant nothing to you even though they hurt you, and I hate to it admit but I'm not sure if something like that ever truly goes away.

Pulling out of my thoughts as I walk up to the driver holding a card with my last name on it. I decided to book into a hotel tonight and then go and stay with my parents tomorrow.

I just need to take the night to sleep and then come up with a game plan on how to get my divorce, I can't do that with my family butting in with their opinions.

The truth is for the last three years, they have all told me to fight and be rid of Zane once and for all, and at the beginning it was all the time of them asking me if I got the divorce yet? Is zane still calling you? It was just questions after questions, that I didn't have the answers or energy to deal with it.

The thing is once I left New York for good, I never really told my parents or my sisters, how things emotionally and mentally got for me, or how much it was struggle for me to even get out of bed in the mornings, I never told them just how much my thoughts overtook me.

It wasn't until I saw that I needed help, until I started to overcome those struggles and as I was doing that, I couldn't do it with people who just kept reminding me of the person who sent me down that path in the first place.

I wasn't strong enough back then to fight, but I'm now and the thought of facing Zane again isn't soul crushing anymore.

I don't know what is going to happened from here, I don't know what I will feel when I face him again, everything beyond this point is unknown to me but it has to be done.

Shaking my head and climbed into the town car, as the driver shuts the door behind me.

Taking a deep breath in and out and sighed.

There's no going back now....