Foreign Objects

07 • Janssen

So, I can't really trust him, can I? What happens when this weird image of him wears off? When he starts being a douche again? And besides, I don't think it's a good idea for the both of us to be close.

But then again, there is something weird happening to us, something we can't ignore because for the last 30 minutes, I've been going through varying emotions, mine and his and trying to even understand exactly what these emotions are, are a hard deal and it is very uncomfortable and to be honest, scary.

And just when I accidentally hit my leg against Peyton's desk, I just stood there thinking about how he most probably felt that because the latest development is that he can also feel my physical pain and I have been wondering for a long time just how much of me he can feel. And how much of him I can feel.

I need to talk to someone about all this before I go crazy.

"Oh my God, Kelcey James just liked my new post on insta!" Peyton is gushing, grinning widely at her phone.

But not her. Definitely not her.

"Who's that?" I ask, tapping the pen clutched between my fingers on the blank page of my notebook.

Peyton and I are both sprawled on the floor in her room, trying to come up with campaign ideas although, as usual, she's gotten more interested in her Instagram followers and number of likes she's getting while I'm still focused on crafting out her manifesto.

Peyton gasps and turns to face me with wide eyes, all dramatic. "Don't tell me you don't know who that is."

"That's literally what I'm telling you," I deadpan.

Peyton shakes her head. "You need to be more updated on people instead of spending so much time watching cat videos on YouTube."

I cringe. "No thank you."

"She's like the biggest YouTuber right now!" She's back to grinning at her phone. I watch her take a couple screenshots.

"So then, why would she like your picture?"

"That's the thing!" She gets on her knees, eyes still on her device. "I have no idea. I would've never imagined she would."

"Lucky you."

"And now I literally just gained like 10 more followers!"

"Oh shit." I give in and bring out my own phone. "I gotta see this picture for myself."

But Peyton doesn't answer me. She is still caught up in Instagram land. I chuckle and click on the app. I see that I've got a new message and I don't even need to click on it to know who it's from.

With my thumb hovering over my screen, I ponder on whether I should check his message or not seeing as I'm still very confused on what to do about this whole thing.

"Have you seen the picture?"

"Huh?" I basically jump at her interruption of my inner battle and my phone falls from my hand. "Shit."

It's crazy how my phone is still functioning at this point.

"Um, I was about to." I pick it back up, feeling uncomfortable that her eyes are on me as I scroll down my feed, searching for her new post. What if I mistakenly swipe to my messages and she sees that I've been consistently messaging her ex? Or what if Jeremiah decides to send me a new message right now?

I speed up the process, find her new picture, double tap to like it and turn off my phone's screen.

"It's a good picture. Mike took it, right?"

She's now giving me a look that I can't quite decipher. "Yeah he did. That's it?"

"Want me to write a poem about it or something?" I joke, laughing awkwardly.