Yes, Sir

Exhausted.

"Did you stop taking the medication?"

"No, of course not." I responded almost immediately.

Apparently I'm a shitty liar though because he shook his head, walked over to the other side of my room and looked through my draws, finding the box underneath my clothes.

Damn I need a new hiding spot.

He pulled out the packets and saw that none of the tablets are missing. I avoided eye contact with him and put on the television, trying to ignore the lecture that was about to come. "Why haven't you been taking them? You need them, they help you."

They don't.

What really happens, is I take them then fall asleep for hours, wake up, throw up. And then I spend the day feeling mentally wide awake, and physically exhausted.

But people don't see that side of it. They just see that the nightmares are magically gone and it's curing me of my problems. It's why I'm always awake so early in the morning. I can't sleep for long without the pills but I'll be damned if I let myself go back to the way I was. I refuse to take those nasty things ever again.

Or so I thought.

"I'm not taking them. I don't care what you say. I'm not doing it."

"You have-"

"No." I raised my voice at him.

"Fine, do what you want. I was just trying to help." He shrugged before putting the medication in the bin, slamming the door while walking out. Leaving me to feel disappointed in myself. And him.

I rubbed my temples while groaning from the exhaustion, I picked my phone up and switched it on to see how much time I have left before school.

4am.

"Might as well get ready now."  I murmured to myself.
Although it's ridiculously early, I don't want to go back to sleep because I know if I do I'll just have another nightmare which will make my brother even more angry which will result in him forcing them down my throat.

I put my uniform on before doing my skincare. Squeezing out the small amount of moisturiser and placing it on my cheeks, forehead and chin. Once it's all rubbed in I let my hair out of the loose bun and start brushing through the knots. I couldn't be bothered to style it today so I just let it be wavy.

I was so tired, so drained and yet I have to act like I'm fine while learning about.. well nothing. How the hell am I going to get through school today.

-

"Are you listening to me?"

"What?"

"I asked if you're alright."

"Oh, yeah I'm fine." I gave Harley a small smile, trying to reassure him. Like always he didn't push me. But for once I wish he would. Just a little, so I'd talk to him.

I don't know if it makes sense, but when someone doesn't push me at least a little for an answer, it makes me feel like they don't actually care and that they asked to be nice. I just want someone to say 'no you're not' and comfort me. But It is what it is right?